In this corner, we have sexism:

1) Double-Standards when it comes to sexual activity: The prostitute and the pimp. The hoe and the rapper. The slut and the player. Men and women can do the same thing when it comes to sex and it will be seen as a positive with the men and negative with the females. Women are expected to remain to remain virginal or not sexual (clitoris disproves that), while men are expected to “sew their wild oats.” How many male artists do you hear singing in a song crying over their girls who cheated on them or left them for other men, and then turn right around and sing about how many girls they slept with. Ewww! How would you feel if some guy came along and treated your girl, your wife, you mother, your daughter like she was a hoe, but you have the right to treat the girls outside of your personal contacts like that. She is still someone’s daughter, someone’s wife, someone’s mother.

2) Double-standards in intellect, politics and the workplace: In politics and the workplace, a man’s leadership skills, intellect and voice is respected more than a woman’s skills, intellect and voice. In some cases, a woman can give orders, but those orders will not be executed until a man comes along and approves them. If a women is just as aggressive as a man in the workplace, she is considered a b****. On the other hand, a man is just considered a man. For centuries, this notion of women belonging at home and in the private world and not in the public world of businesses, education and politics has made women feel like second-class humans with no importance to society except to give birth. Also, this notion has perpetuated less wages for women and less consideration for day-care services and proper maternity leave.

3) Double-Standards in beauty images: Why is it he can have a beer gut, but she gains 20 pounds and is immediately criticized for being fat? When it comes to beauty standards, women have a lot more weight (excuse pun) put on them to “look good.” The whole beauty industry is mostly dedicated to the one-dimensional beauty ideal for women: straight long, and blonde hair, skinny, tall, fair-skinned, blue-eyed, wears dresses, wears make-up, acts girly, dumbs herself down, etc. Even worst, men keep reinforcing these ideals by choosing the on-dimensional beauty and making the rest of us feel inadequate or ugly. So, we go through these extreme measures to “look good” for men instead of them telling us we look good the way we are. Yet, generally, they do not have to do much in ways of image because they control images.

4) Taking advantage of male strength: We get it! Men have muscles and generally, you are stronger. However, shouldn’t they take their strength to protect us from harm not cause it. Physical abuse, rape, sex trafficking, prostitution (thanks pimps!) are still in large numbers. Constantly, I hear stories of women and girls who are sexually harassed by guys as they pass them by and other guys just stand around, either ignoring or laughing. My cousin told me a story about her friends who were trying to ignore a bunch of guys cat calling them and they started to throw Snapple bottles at them. What?! Nice way to show your aggression, boys! If you want us to treat you like Kings, you need to treat us like Queens first!

5) Objectification of women: My previous points add up into this. Sometimes I feel as if women are not treated as human, we are treated like objects to be had. As my teacher said, some men act as if they are the doers and the aggressive ones, and we are just the objects or passive members (again, clitoris and testosterone in our blood proves we can be sexual and aggressive) in the society. It is clear in language in which the plural involving men and women together only reflects men and lyrics in music in which male artists sing or rap about how they have cars, chains, rims, grills, houses, cash and hoes (or girls, to be nicer). We are just trophies of their accomplishments or their entertainment to relax to and the more the better! If we get mad or emotional, it is not because we actually are, it is because we are hormonal or on our period. We do not have a mind, we are just things to toss around or become emotional for no reason. To some men, collectively we do not count and that is sad!

Bonus point: Blame the Victim! Some men actually blame women for all these things. If she dresses like a slut, it is her fault because she does not respect herself (Ice Cube actually said that). Really? I think a lot of men forget that the reason why we do things we do is to get men’s attention. We do not dress overly sexy, wear make-up, try to be super-skinny, straighten our hair, dye our hair blonde, wear heels, shake our butts, dance seductively, for our own enjoyment! We do it because we think that is what men want and men promote it by selecting those who comply with those things more often (ex. complimenting or looking at girls who look like that more often). Moreover, the women who do not respect themselves may have never received respect in their lives, so they act like that for attention. It is up to real men to show them what respect is even when they are looking or acting like that, so they can learn to respect themselves. It is a 50/50 responsibility between men and women. So, do not give us that excuse; only people who are in denial about their power and privilege do that.

And in this corner, we have feminism:

1) Overemphasis of the idea that men and women are completely the same, when they are obviously not: Yes, men and women are equal, but we are also equally different. Despite what some may want to believe, biologically, physically, mentally and psychologically, men and women are not the same. Men have penises, testicles, and sperm while women have vaginas, ovaries, eggs and a uterus that carries the baby. Males have more testosterone than females and females have more estrogen than males. These hormones have a huge effect on our physicality, how our brains are wired, how we think or feel and several other aspects of gender/sex. Why do you think it is easier for a man in general to tackle a woman than the other way around? The answer is men, in general, are biologically stronger because they naturally have more muscle mass. Also, it is not a coincidence that usually men are more visually attracted to things (hunters) while women are usually more emotionally attracted to things (nurturers).

2) The anti-man or “all men are dogs” sentiment among radical or extreme feminists: One of the reasons why I do not love the word “feminism” is because of the “ism” attached to it. I know I may be stretching this, but sometimes I feel that the word along with the words and actions of some feminists are another form of sexism. Instead of gender equality, they are trying to prove that “all men are dogs” and all women are innocent victims of men. I have heard of political lesbians, who are not really attracted to women, but would rather be with a woman or be celibate than to be with a man. Some men are dogs, but the good ones do exist, just as in the female population. Men and women are both equally significant in this world; we cannot have one without the other.

3) Chivalry is dead! Hmmm, I wonder why?: It is hard for a man to act like a gentleman when no matter what he does it is seen as him trying to get in her pants. If when he opens a door for her, pulls out a chair for her, pays the bill for her, buys a present for her, lifts something for her, protect her, does anything else nice for her and her response is “I am an independent woman! I don’t need you to do that for me, I can do it myself!” What else is he suppose to think? His response will be “fine, I am not going to do anything for you anymore, do it your damn self!” Then when she does need his help and he is not there for her anymore, this is the consequence. She complains that chivalry is dead, but she told him that she does not need him! If you do not need him, then why is he there? Yes, a woman can do a lot on her own, but if he wants to support her and help take care of her because he cares, why not let him sometimes.

4) Placement of focus on a set of social rules, instead of a right to choose your path and maintaining the main ideals of the movement: I do not think this was planned to come out this way, but these are some of the messages I receive from women who go overboard with feminism: a) do not wear dresses, make-up, or hairdos because those are creations of man, b) staying home and taking care of your children is disloyalty to the feminist movement and you are a slave to your husband, c) having children is more of a hindrance or curse (to my career, to my life) than a blessing and on and on. First, this way of thinking can be just as domineering as male chauvinism. Also, if a woman strips herself of everything that was considered feminine (some good, others bad), it might lead her into the opposite direction of imitating men. Some feminists have made it seem (again, probably accidently) that in order to equal to men, we have to be just like them in every way (a weird form of assimilation). Instead, they should have focused on showing that women are human (not objects), have minds, have important things to say, can contribute to society and still be proud of being women in the sense that we hold the key to life and are beautiful.

The ideal of feminism should be focused on a woman’s right to choose and whichever way she goes, she should be treated with respect and admiration. If a women chooses to stay home and take care of her children, that is her choice, as long as she feels fulfilled, respected and appreciated. She should not feel pressured that she has to work to feel satisfied in life. The same idea should happen in the workplace; her position should be seen as just as important (pay, promotions, work tasks, etc.). It should be that either way she chooses, it is still encouraged. Feminism goals should be fighting for equal wages, equal status in the workplace, business, politics, media, social worlds, and all over the world, stopping trafficking of women for sex work, fighting for justice for rape victims, fighting for better medical care, etc.

5) Failure to see the how racism and classism affects feminism: The Pedestal vs. The Auction Block view Next post….

The matrix of domination is the union of different social factors, including gender, race and ethnicity, sexuality, age, social class, disability, handedness (I am left-handed), religion, and citizenship status, that have a large impact on a person’s social status in a society. Three of the most prominent ones are racism, sexism and homophobia. Racism is the belief that one race is superior to others and the others are naturally inferior. Sexism is the belief, mostly by males, that one sex is superior to the other. Last, homophobia is the fear or prejudice against homosexuals. All of these are the product of a straight, male, youth-oriented, capitalistic, and WASP (white Anglo-Saxon protestant) dominated society in which we live. Every factor in which we are not the dominant in gives us less choices and opportunities, and affects our social interaction with others.

Both Espiritu and hooks describe parts of this matrix in their articles “The Racial Construction of Asian American Women and Men” and “Gangsta Culture-Sexism, Misogyny: Who Will Take the Rap,” respectively. In Espiritu’s article, she discusses the different stereotypes of Asian American women and men, and how it affects our view of Asian Americans and how they view themselves. Through these “controlling images,” as Patricia Hill Collins calls them, the dominant group is able to validate economic exploitation and social oppression, creating a group of low social class (Espiritu, Page 83). These images naturalize racism, sexism, poverty and homophobia. “As indicated by these stereotypes, representations of gender and sexuality figure strongly in the articulation of racism. These racist stereotypes collapse gender and sexuality: Asian men have been constructed as hypermasculine in the image of the “Yellow Peril,” but also as effeminate, in the image of the “model minority,” and Asian women have been depicted as superfeminine, in the image of the “China Doll,” but also as castrating, in the image of the “Dragon Lady”” (Espiritu, Pages 83-84). This gender polarization and “gendering of ethnicity” (Espiritu, Page 84) makes Asian women and men become characterized as both genders and at the same time no gender at all. In result, Asians as a whole can be seen a dangerous threat to white Americans or a subservient, weaker group for their benefit, which justifies white male’s domination because both threaten and offend their masculinity.

Even further, since Asian women were often excluded from America and there were anti-miscegenation laws, Asian men formed bachelor societies, which turned the view of their masculinity from “hypersexual” to “asexual” and homosexual. The asexual and homosexual views made Asian men more effeminate, weaker and more passive, furthering dominant white culture and increasing discrimination against Asian men socially and economically. An Asian man can be either the homosexual villain (Fu Manchu type) or the sexless sidekick (Charlie Chan, Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid, and Kato in the Green Hornet), thus continuing the image of the Asian man who is always frail or submissive. On the other hand, Asian women are seen as only sexual and exotic, but untrustworthy, through the images of the “servile Lotus Blossom Baby, “ geisha girl, or “China Doll,” and the “Dragon Lady.” Asian women are sexualized and at the same time criticized for their sexuality. Once again, sexuality is used to prove white man’s power and leaving women very little economic and social mobility.

Bell hooks’ “Gangsta Culture—Sexism, Misogyny: Who Will Take the Rap?” is about how the African-American gangsta culture is a product of the larger white, male dominated society. The criticism against gangsta culture is a way to degrade black youth culture and neglect the similar behaviors of White dominant culture. Black people, especially black males, are viewed as a threat to society and behaviors that are misogynistic, like rape or abuse, are seen as a black male behaviors. However, the misogynistic views in gangsta rap reflect the misogynistic culture in America that keeps males in power. For example, it was only a little over 100 years ago that domestic abuse was declared illegal. In addition to that, gangsta rap hypersexualizes black males, so they can appear more tough in order not be seen as homosexual, reproducing the homophobic attitudes. Has anyone ever heard of a gay rapper? Black women are also hypersexualized and seen only as sex objects through words like “hoes.” Moreover, it is usually white males who are the head of the labels, pay these rappers, market these albums, tell them the type of songs to produce and buy the songs. Also, the gangster films, like Scarface and the Godfather, made by white culture, usually inspire these rappers. Black males are willing to produce the songs and black women are willing to degrade themselves in the videos and album covers as long as there are material rewards for them. Race, gender and social class are reflected in the whole gangsta culture.

Both of the articles have the same dominant group tactic of blaming the victim, especially with the women. Male culture has over-sexualized women, for example Freud calling us sex objects, and then turning it around to criticize us for being over-sexual. In “Gangsta Culture,” hooks speaks about her interview with Ice Cube and how there should be respect towards women, but he also justified anti-woman lyrics saying that some women carry themselves in a way that determines how they will be treated. What do you expect from a male dominates society that treats women as sex objects in general no matter how they dress and gives women fewer options than to dress like that. Usually, non-White women are criticized more for their “hypersexuality” than White women, which is a way for dominant culture to make both their race and gender inferior. Rappers, like Snoop Dogg, and even Rock stars still put half-naked or naked women on albums and videos, but black rappers get more criticism for it. Pornography featuring Asian “China Doll” women and bathhouses with Asian women are still promoted and sold. This tactic of blaming the victim is what keeps the males dominant over females because whatever they do in regards to females can easily be put as a responsibility for females to deal with. Also, it makes it harder for the reverse; there are no “Guys Gone Wild” videos or very little videos and albums with guys who are half-naked or naked along with the women.

However, both articles differ when it comes to the stereotypes of African-American and Asian American men. Black men are often seen as these big, dark, and intimidating figures that threaten White women. Their stereotype has to do with hyper-masculinity and looking dangerous. They are often seen as the rapists, murderers and drug dealers. On the other hand, Asian men can be seen as hyper-masculine or effeminate. Asian men are either a threat to white women or passive men who cannot please or protect any women. Bruce Lee or Jet Li have been labeled as the hyper-masculine types, while monks, Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid, and more extreme Yoda from Star Wars are labeled as passive, asexual types. Both groups are stereotyped based on exaggerated views of actual physical features of African American and Asian American men. African-American men are darker and usually taller and more muscular in appearance than Asian American men, so they are seen as more aggressive and frightening. Still, the stereotypes of both male groups are used to keep White men as the “normal” ones.

No matter what how it is discussed, none of the parts of the matrix of domination can be discussed alone. They do not live in a singular vacuum by themselves and they all have an effect on each other. Just imagine if you were considered the inferior of all the parts, life would be to say the least, extremely difficult. Despite what others may say, the matrix also affects our daily lives from the decisions we make to behaviors to the way we look (come back later for my post on how racism affected black women’s hair choices). The only way to overcome the matrix is to stop hiding it and open it up for discussion. As James Baldwin said, “not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”