On November 9th, I decided to take a walk on the Manhattan Bridge. I had not gone home after work on Friday and I felt tired and hungry but I thought I might as well do my IDC assignment while I’m in the city. I started walking up to the bridge and the emptiness of the sidewalk made me feel uncomfortable. There were usually a lot of people running and biking across the bridge. But the bridge sidewalk was empty. I felt crazy to be out there in the cold. I looked down at my light parka and hoodie and felt sheepish at my choice of clothes. It was so cold. I should have grabbed some food before walking up to the bridge. My stomach rumbled and I drank some water to settle it down. I hoped I would not have to go to the bathroom and instantly the cold made me want to go to the bathroom. I questioned my decision to walk the bridge. Turn back. Go home. Get some food. Get some warmth. I continued to walk.

The bleakness and the dullness of the day made me feel even more tired. I plugged in my earbuds and turned on some music. How can people create such great music? I felt so much more alive. “Close your eyes and listen carefully. Imagine you’re stood on a beach. Water gently lapping at your feet. And now you’re sinking, what were you thinking?”, my music hummed and I bobbed my head to the music. I wondered what it would be like to be on a beach at that moment. I should have worn a thicker jacket. The wind blew hard again and I turned around so the wind hit my back. I looked around thinking in the back of my mind if someone was watching me. Everything seemed too quiet. Chinatown was usually so lively so I wondered why things were so quiet.

A women in shorts and a tank top ran past me and I shuddered. Is she not cold? I walked up further on the bridge. I looked up at the massive steel beams and awed at the incredible structure. How does such a massive structure stay up? At that moment a train rattled by and shook the entire bridge and I awed even more at the marvelous engineering. I remembered I should take a picture for my blog post so I pulled out my phone, slipped it past the railing and snapped a couple of pictures. I gripped it harder. What would happen if I just dropped it? I shuddered internally. I pulled back my phone.

I turned around to look where I walked up from. I have to walk all that way back? I groaned and leaned against the railing. The East River flowed underneath me. I thought of my fear of the ocean. The crashing water made me feel even more cold. I looked around.  The massive buildings arose all around me. I wondered what it would feel like to be living in one of the massive buildings. I want to be really wealthy one day. A large boat crossed the river underneath the bridge and the wind picked up again. I felt flecks of rain fall on my face. I checked my bag and I had forgotten my umbrella. Run. I hurried back to the train station, desperately hoping it would not start to rain harder.