My family’s heritage traces back primarily to Ireland and Italy, with the name “Johnson” originating in Sweden. However, my family has been in America for so many generations, and has progressively assimilated as such, that there are no significant cultural ties to any of those places of origin. We have become very Americanized, and as a result we are firm practitioners of our natural rights: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Now this may seem quite unconventional, but I’m going to write about it anyway.

Divorce… Now you may say that word in your mind and immediately cringe and think “why would anyone write about this?” Well, quite frankly, because it has had a significant impact on a majority of my family and has been a strong identity shaping factor. Six couples in my family have gotten divorced, all at different stages of my life. However, this is not necessarily an aspect of my life that should warrant any sympathy or pity.

If there is anything I have learned from these occurrences, it would have to be self reliance/independence. Nothing is set in stone when it comes to one’s relationship to other people. It is essential to be able to rely on yourself for stability and security before you can ever rely on someone else. Once you have a strong grip on who you are and what you really want out of life, once you can channel happiness from within yourself, then you are ready to try codependence.

A reason why this topic may make some people uncomfortable is that divorce happens to be highly stigmatized. To me, that is strange given that it has the same probability of occurrence as its alternative. Honestly, if you are shocked to hear that a couple got divorced, you should be equally as shocked to hear that a couple is still married. Furthermore, the thing about divorce is that it is not always a negative experience. When two people get divorced, it shows that they were not happy with their situation and they wished to pursue what was best for themselves individually. At first it may seem earth shattering because it is a huge disruption in what you have become used to in day to day life. However, later you will see that both individuals are much happier than they would have been if they had just stuck it out for the sake of normalcy. Let me just state: the purpose of this post is not to promote divorce. The purpose of this post is to analyze how one let’s a significant life change impact and shape their identity.