The traditional Albanian wedding dress, the tekum, is a prominent symbol for the extravagant and extensive process inherent in Albanian marriages. This entire process can span for almost a month in some cases, with many ceremonies and parties involved such as the ceremony in the mosque, the bride’s bridal shower, and the day of the reception when she is taken from her house to her husband’s— where they will “start their lives together.” Many of these gestures, such as the bride placing honey on the door outside of her husband’s home for good luck, are done for the sake of tradition and keeping our culture alive in America, which is most evident in joyous wedding celebrations.

Ethnic Albanians from different regions vary in their traditional wedding dresses. Different cities and towns in Albania, Montenegro, Kosovo, and Macedonia have their own versions of the dress. For example, some regions of Kosovo have a burgundy dress while some regions of Montenegro have a simple yet colorful floral dress. The outfit from Ulqin, Montenegro, the city where my family originates from, is made out of harem pants, a blouse, vest, handkerchief, belt, and headpiece adorned with gold coins and pearls. The pieces are made out of silk and chiffon and are heavily embroidered with silver and gold flowers, beads, pearls, and sequins. The outfit is made by few who are skilled enough to design it, taking a few months to create and costing around $8,000.

The tekum that my family currently owns is my mother’s, which her mother had made for her when she got married twenty-five years ago. My mother brought the dress from Ulqin when she immigrated here when she married my father, who was already living here. My mother shared the gown with her younger sister when she got married because it is often too expensive for families to make multiple ones. My sister and I tried on my mother’s dress a few years ago for fun when my sister had a “Culture Day” at her school and decided to wear the traditional dress and bring an Albanian dessert.

Wearing the dress just to model it in the mirror was still a profound experience, despite seeming like a trivial moment. My mother helped us put on the many pieces of the dress and told us stories from her and her sister’s wedding celebrations, and I felt very close to my Albanian culture, family, and hometown of Ulqin, Montenegro. Two women got married in the dress, my mother here in New York, and my aunt in Ulqin, thus bridging two countries, continents, families, generations, and milestones together.

My sister and I discussed which pieces of the dress we may keep for ourselves to carry aspects of my mother’s and aunt’s marriages with us into our own marriages. I felt like I was wearing a piece of history and I never felt so close to my culture. I felt a sense of belonging and identity knowing that I would eventually wear the dress made in my hometown and worn by two women I love. Seeing and feeling the complex details of the dress astounded me by reminding me of the Albanian girls in all different countries that experience the same feeling of carrying this tradition with pride. The dress is truly one of the few objects my family owns that signifies our Albanian heritage, and it does so with such beauty and immensity.

We have certainly become more “Americanized” throughout the years but we could never imagine getting married without the traditional dress or traditional wedding ceremonies in general. The dress and the ceremonies highlight the respect and importance Albanians place on marriage, which they celebrate with numerous amounts of gifts, people, and traditions. I never feel more Albanian than I do when I attend weddings and I always look forward to experiencing an extraordinary aspect of my culture that most of my American friends could never understand.