The concept of friendship differs between France and America.
According to my interviewees and my experience living in France for a year, in France, there are different terms for what Americans simply call “friend.” A close friend, whom you have known for a long time is called un(e) ami(e). A friend you have just met or with whom you are not particularly close is called un copain/une copine or un(e) pote. In America though, aside from the term “best friend,” there is no distinction amongst different intimacy levels of friendship.
Another difference between the two cultures is how friends are made. In France, friendship is seen as something earned. Someone you meet and like does not automatically become a friend. You would typically see them several times before considering them a friend. To the American eyes, the French can seem cold upon first meeting. However, once you become friends, it is generally a sure and certain friendship.
Whereas in America, it is very easy to get along with people from the get-go. Americans immediately call each other “friends” if they are enjoying one another’s company. However, especially in New York City, following up with a friend is very difficult. You may exchange contact information after the first meeting, but trying to hang out again is a challenge. Even amongst already long time established friends, hanging out can be difficult because everyone is too busy.
This was a recurring theme brought up in each interview, about which each interviewee felt strongly. From the French perspective, friendship can seem shallow. Although it appears to be easy to make friends, it is difficult to genuinely remain friends. All of my interviewees have stated that it is very difficult in NYC to make new friends that will last a long time. The students abroad struggle to make friends even though they are in a college setting, a place where the potential to make new friends is high. Going to a commuter school in the city makes it actually very difficult to develop friendships that go beyond the classroom.
