Gautam Ramasubramanian was born in 1995 in Mumbai, India. When he was four years old, he and his parents immigrated to the United States. For his parents, the United States had an almost fairy-tale appeal, as it seemed to offer the chance of a better life. Gautam’s father, an accountant, aspired to find a better job and to give his son an American education. This story of immigration is in fact two stories in one: the story of Gautam and the story of his parents. Gautam’s experience assimilating to American customs was very different from that of his parents. But despite these differences, both stories are similar in that they exemplify some of the disappointments of immigration. Gautam’s father was unable to realize his hopes of a more successful career. As a consequence of being foreign-born and U.S.-raised, Gautam struggles to stay true to his Indian heritage and is uncertain about his own identity. Whether he is Indian or American remains perplexingly unclear.
In 1993, six years before the family’s move, Gautam’s uncle had immigrated from India to Flushing. The uncle worked for the State Bank of India and was transferred to the Bank’s U.S. branch. The uncle’s successful career in New York made Gautam’s father optimistic about finding work in the United States. Unfortunately, the father’s experience developed in sharp contrast to the uncle’s. The father had trouble finding a high-ranking, well-paying job in the U.S., since American employers did not trust his Indian education and experience in accounting. He was forced to re-train, which put him a step behind where he would have been in India. He once said that he regretted the move, since in India he would have risen higher in his career. But despite this disappointment, Gautam’s father chose to remain in America for the sake of his only child’s education.
It was in Gautam’s education where his father’s hopes were realized. Gautam started elementary school in New York and did very well: he was a thoughtful and diligent pupil who prospered in the American school system. Moreover, since he arrived in New York when he was very young, Gautam had no difficulty in adopting an American lifestyle. Still very young and impressionable, he assimilated to American customs easily and naturally.
Gautam’s parents, in contrast, were more conscious than he of the cultural adjustments they had to make. Luckily his parents were able to avoid many of the difficulties of assimilation by settling in Flushing’s Indian neighborhood. Not only did they have relatives near by—Gautam’s uncle, aunt and cousins—but they also belonged to a tight-knit community that maintained many Indian traditions. Flushing has an Indian temple and stores selling Indian food, which helped Gautam’s parents feel at home.
Even though Gautam’s parents lived in an Indian community, they nevertheless abandoned some Indian customs in favor of Western ones. After all, even an ethnic enclave cannot remain entirely insulated from mainstream American culture. For example, rather than eating and sleeping on the floor, Gautam’s family began to use tables, chairs and beds. Along with this came a difference in eating habits: utensils appeared on the table, and what was formerly eaten with the hands now submitted to fork and knife. In addition, English replaced Tamil as the main language spoken at home. Throughout all these changes, Gautam’s parents felt no real loss. Even in their Indian neighborhood his parents were eager to become less foreign and more American. These were common changes in lifestyle that other Indians in the community had already made.
Assimilation was most difficult when it came to the family’s last name—or, rather, last names. Surnames in South India are passed down differently than surnames in the United States. In the West, last names are traditionally passed down though the men in the family so that one family shares the same surname. Certain South Indians, however, derive their surnames from their father’s first name—or husband’s first name, for married women. Ramasubramanian is Gautam’s father’s first name. While Gautam and his mother are surnamed Ramasubramanian, the father is actually surnamed Sundram, since Sundram is the grandfather’s first name. The fact that one family had different surnames complicated life in the United States. Consider, for example, what would happen when Gautam’s father picked his son up from school. Gautam’s father was not Mr. Ramasubramanian. Western schoolteachers found this perplexing: How could father and his own son have a different last name?
This problem was remedied two years ago when Gautam’s parents became U.S. citizens and changed their last name to Ayer. Ayer is the name of their family line and comes from their distant ancestors. Perhaps this name represented a way to stay true to their Indian heritage. Or perhaps, now that Gautam’s parents were citizens, this new name was a symbol of complete assimilation.
Gautam, however, did not change his name from Ramasubramanian to Ayer. At that time Gautam was becoming more interested in his Indian roots, and keeping his original last name seemed a way to hold onto his Indian identity. As a child, Gautam was teased for his unusual and very long last name. Now this name became a source of pride. Gautam also began to lament the loss of his native Tamil, a language which he had failed to master.
Unfortunately, Gautam finds it difficult to hold onto what remains of his Indian heritage. His Tamil is so poor that becoming fluent in the language would require an immense amount of work. Gautam also says that it will only be a matter of time before he will change his last name to Ayer, since it is problematic to have a last name that differs from that of his parents.
For Gautam’s parents, assimilation to Western customs required a conscious effort, but now they feel comfortable being Americanized. Gautam’s experience of assimilation was the reverse: his assimilation was not deliberate, and unlike his parents he does not want to be Americanized. He strives to retain whatever fragments of Indian culture and traditions still remain in his family. Consequently, Gautam straddles two countries and is not exactly sure where he belongs. He does not consider himself Indian, nor does he consider himself a New Yorker. Immigration has left Gautam incomplete, since he is neither entirely Indian nor entirely American. In a way, Gautam’s father is incomplete as well, since he is unable to reach his full potential in his career. His aspirations remain unfulfilled.
This feeling of incompleteness which Gautam shares with his father is an unfortunate consequence of immigration. That is not to say, though, that immigration did not have its advantages. Gautam was indeed able to benefit from the American system of education, and his acceptance into Macaulay is clear evidence of that fact. And perhaps Gautam’s struggle to define himself can also be seen in a positive light. The incompleteness that he feels may in fact be the starting point for a self-reflective journey, traversing the intersections between foreign roots and present circumstances, which non-immigrants rarely have an opportunity to explore.
