Sol Lilman
Aging Prelude’s purpose is to show diverse bodies in ways that are not sexualized, dehumanized, nor objectified. At first, their nudity is meant to be unsettling as they posed as different figures from paintings or sculptures. Throughout the performance, they said phrases describing their poses, fun facts about themselves, and their aspirations. In doing so, they are humanized. Rather than being nude—displayed for the audience to objectify and sexualize someone—they were naked, naturally undressed because they have autonomy and agency over their body.
There was one transgender person who mentioned that their body is ever-changing. This inspired my self-portrait as a transmasculine queer person. The first person who came to mind was Loren Rex Cameron, a transman and photographer. He is posed dramatically while injecting testosterone into his body as a form of hormone replacement therapy. As someone who has experience with gender affirming care, it is exciting to see someone feel so empowered and comfortable with their body. There is another picture of him and his partner, Kayt—a butch lesbian who is on the transmasculine spectrum, embracing. The history of lesbianism, transmen, and transmasculine people are intertwined, and their relationship’s nuance defies cis-heteronormative standards. I often reflect on my relationship with gender and sexuality. While gender and sexuality are considered unrelated, it would be false to say that many trans people do not feel like their gender and sexual orientation are connected. The sexual orientations of Leslie Feinberg, a transgender lesbian, and Lou Sullivan, a transgender gay man, affirm and redefine their genders. My gender is deeply connected to my sexuality, allowing me to reimagine joy and comfort outside of oppressive expectations. Both images are from Cameron’s book named Body Alchemy.
The picture in the middle of the piece was taken by Elle Perez, a queer photographer in the Bronx, New York. In the picture (t, 2018), there is a hand holding a vial of testosterone. It is a form of transforming the body, which is considered definite and permanent, into something beautiful. When we transform our bodies, we transform reality. The way people perceive and respond to trans people throughout our transition constantly changes. How will people treat us? How will people understand us? How will people love us? The way we navigate the world changes, as well. How do we see the world, and how does it see us?
There is an image of a Black transmasculine person with their eyes closed and their hand in the air. It was taken by Shoog McDaniel—a southern, queer, non-binary and fat photographer. The purpose of their photography is to show queer joy for fat individuals in a thin, cis-heteronormative, and patriarchal world. The person in the image underwent top surgery (mastectomy) and hormone replacement therapy. They are born again, elated to feel comfortable in their own body.
On the left, there is a a picture of a Black transgender person, touching his chest after their top surgery. The image is from a series by Leon Cato named Adam’s Apple, which follows the female-to-male transition of Naechané Valentino Romeo. Throughout his transition, Romeo has faced unacceptance while figuring out how to socialize in society. However, gender-affirming surgery is an act of joy and self-love. He is joyful and relieved. He can be comfortable in his body. Not many people can say the same.
On the bottom left, there is a self-portrait of Hobbes Ginsberg, a transgender lesbian whose chest is exposed. There are tattoos around her stomach. Transgender people are often seen as undesirable and abnormal because they do not fit into definite and cisnormative body standards. Here, Ginsberg is portrayed as relaxed and sensual. Transgender people are allowed to love and pleasure themselves.
There is another image on the bottom right of a person looking straight ahead. I am unsure where the image is from, but they are transmasculine. They are looking at the audience, just as the eyes (eyes of transgender individuals) are looking at the audience. Rather than the audience looking at the naked individuals, like in Aging Prelude, they are looked at. Are they judging the audience? They are in the art piece, happy with who they are. Can the audience say the same? The audience is being questioned, not the images of people. The eyes are against a picture of the night sky to represent peace and acceptance, similar to how the lights dimmed in Aging Prelude symbolize joy and closure. The performers were able to embrace who they were, including their flaws. Similarly, trans people embrace their identities.
Being transgender is an act of resistance, and the journey toward acceptance and joy is a protest against oppressive systems. This portrait represents who I am: diverse, defiant, joyful, trans, and self-made. In a world that demands conformity and compliance, a transgender body is transfigured into something unapologetic.
