The disparity between plans&reality (why grand inspiration often lacks follow-through)

Posted on August 20, 2012 by Julia

Eh, it’s like they’re the same person, anyway..

I’ve been butchering my blog’s background for some time now. Especially since I got internet last Tuesday, which is basically a week ago now that it’s after midnight. This Cinderella should be getting her beauty sleep (Sleeping Beauty? wrong movie? idk)….. Today’s Writing Center Consultant Workshop (and really everything else that has gone right and wrong and all over the place these past few weeks) made me think about the reasons why I keep putting off the grand blog change and the inspired posts. It’s the same reason anybody puts off anything.

Example: New Year’s Resolution!

Do you ever go to the gym every day after writing it on your list? How about start reading one book per month or eating all your veggies? Studying more?

Yeah, I thought so. It’s not your fault… or not exactly.. We’re just like Marshall on How I Met Your Mother.

“I will never get drunk again!” ended in a very, very embarrassing display, indeed. Why? It’s too much pressure! Every time we get 100% inspired by something beautiful and seemingly life-altering, we tend to make decisions that change something major in our lives. The problem with that is the major change part. People hate change. Liberal people hate change, conservative people hate change, young people hate change, and old people hate change. EVERYONE hates change.

Yeah. New pie. It’s fish. (http://thefw.com/pi-day/)

Sure, there’s the odd situation like a presidential election or a new type of pie on the dinner menu, but in general we don’t know how to deal with things that are not routine. Especially when they inconvenience us. The biggest inconvenience in the world is a healthier lifestyle decision. So maybe you saw God in a piece of toast and decided to change your entire life. Well, religion seems to be the only way to make amazing changes like that all at once, so kudos. If you’re like me, however, you’re going to need more than that, simply because nothing can make you stick to your grand plans.

To this I say, don’t have a grand plan. Just like everything you learn at a job orientation, this isn’t something you don’t already know, but it IS something that you need to hear again to help it sink in. Step-by-step is the only way for most people to implement some sort of betterment process. Start working out on Tuesdays and see where it goes from there. Eat one type of vegetable every day, and see where it goes from there. Study one hour in the library after lunch and…. yeah, I think you get it.

We see the things we do wrong and want to adjust them right now, without further ado, before the sun goes down etc. We’re just so critical of ourselves that we don’t take a break from our betterment plans to make a long-term plan involving realistic adjustments. Because we want to fail.

We don’t have to fail if we don’t want to. Just sayin’. So I’m writing a blog and leaving my slightly improved background up so I can go to bed before 1.

My plan was bed at midnight, but before 1 works. Maybe I’ll perfect it for the schoolyear, but who knows. One thing at a time, right? Try it, even if you have before. Maybe just start by deciding to avoid sweeping declarations. That’s step one for us lazy people 🙂

Sweet Dreams and lots of love,

Julia

 

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From “a few hours to Amsterdam” to “a few seconds to Amsterdam Ave”

Posted on August 9, 2012 by Julia

Well hello there!

No, I do not yet have internet at the apartment. Yes, I do want it, and I do want it NOW. I spent 8 hours in my front hallway yesterday, waiting for the time warner cable guy that never came because of a broken buzzer and communication issues with my roommate.

I met a lot of neighbors. The most interesting characters were some guy who started to hit on me but got the hint when I turned immediately back to my book, a very nice lady whose husband just died, and an interior painter who thinks I should go to the Peace Corps in Africa.

One wonderful thing about yesterday was that my dad and my sister came by. They brought me furniture and food and stuff, and my sister and I made tortillas together. It was adorable and I was very sad when they left. However, my room looks like a real room now, and I have my movies. I drank Earl Grey tea while watching The Three Musketeers!! Now that’s a good night 😀

In other news, I had a job interview today, and I think I’m in! We’ll see. I’m super excited about it.

So yeah, this blog is short, and I’ll continue to have short blogs because I can’t write them at home. Also, the colors and the layout might still be changing.

Lots o’ love

Julia

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Currently Under Construction (excuse for crappy layout?)

Posted on August 2, 2012 by Julia

Hi all!

Since I am moving back to Manhattan, I’m searching for the right combination of sleek professionalism and free-spirited whimsy (synonyms? 😛 ) to give this blog a new look.

I’m trying out new things, cleaning up, and packing my stuff to move to the city for the year. Yes, my blog revamp is going along with my life revamp. I just vacuumed a few rooms at my parents’ house after trying out seamlessly repeating backgrounds on my blog until I wanted to throw something at my baby (He’s a Macbook Pro; his name is Mr. Loca Sant Pau del Pilar; and like any other child, he should not be abused).

Thankfully, I received a call from my summer employer. She’s picking me up to go to work at 1, so now I have to rush to clean the house before I go. My mom asked me to make things presentable because one of my uncles and one of my cousins are coming to stay for the weekend. They’re arriving tomorrow during the day, just in time to be present for my move. The fact that I have to go to work in a few hours takes away the pressure of creating a presentable blog and replaces it with house cleaning pressure (involves less thinking=preferable) ^.^

What my trip to the city will look like.

Yes, we’re all going down to the city together. My mom, my dad, my best friend, my uncle, and my cousin. My bed and some of my stuff will come, too, but I don’t think I need to explain why my parents are going to make another trip down in a week or so. It’s okay, though. This way everyone gets to be in NYC for a bit, and I get to think about what exactly I need before my parents hop on by a second time. Also, I get to see my parents more than once this month 🙂

If my flatmates and I get the internet situation figured out soon, I will be able to continue working on this the second I get down there. If not, I guess I’ll have more time for my job search.

Whatever. Either way, the point is that I’m getting reorganized, and my blog is going to look a little challenged for a wee bit.

Suggestions welcome.

Love,

Julia

 

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Things you already knew (but didn’t feel like dealing with)

Posted on July 31, 2012 by Julia

Don’t you feel a little bit lonely without that? …not his chest, silly! 😉 The love story of Tristan and Isolde!

Do you ever turn off your computer and get that empty feeling? Let me tell you something. I have no idea how you can get rid of it. It’s not like the beautiful hole you get in your heart after a great story ends only to leave you a bit lonely without the main characters.

It’s a complete lack of creative energy. You don’t take anything in, and you don’t put anything out.

Sure, that’s not always true. The internet is a marvelous tool. However, if you’ve got that depleted “Oh it’s already time for dinner but what did I even do today” face as soon as you close that laptop, I bet you saw a few funny memes, watched something semi-satisfying, and refreshed facebook more often than you will ever admit to anyone.

Story of my life. My creative output chances begin and end with a pencil and paper. The problem? We’re all lazy. Don’t come at me with some excuse. You know it’s true. We work because we need money, and we have extra-curriculars because we “should” or because we need an impressive resume.

Yes, we volunteer and socialize and build things and fix things and call our mothers. Not every part of life has to be related to our laziness. I just want you to think about this: We all want to be laying on a beach with a million dollars in the bank, a hottie by our side, and a drink (Alcoholic or not. To each her own) in our hand.

The closest we can get to that worry-free zone on a Monday night after a busy day is to clear our minds completely and do nothing. It is incrediblysatisfying to laze around without feeling guilty. Give it a bit, though, and if you don’t feel guilty, there’s something else nagging at you. It’s that emptiness. You can only do nothing for so long until your body craves that creativity. Watching shows or movies, or playing videogames, can keep it at bay for a bit.

They’re even into gay rights! What’s not to love?

You’re still being lazy but you’re taking part in someone else’s creativity, and that feeds that little, nagging part of you some oreos. It’ll shut up.

Eventually, though, if you’re anything like me, your “what did I even do today” zombie face will return. It’s because whatever your naggy calling is, it needs you.

Maybe you don’t even know what it is but if you quit the laziness we tend towards because it seems like happiness, you’ll find out. I’m not saying never being lazy is the solution. By all means, grab a bag of snacks and snuggle back into your comfy place. It’s one heck of a good time.

When the zombie face comes, though, try this: Write, draw, train your cat, or resort to any annoying Nike fill-in-the-blank verb that tickles your fancy. Find a creative outlet and allow it to take you somewhere new and “zombie face”-less. You might think it’s a waste of time but, come on, what else would you be doing right now? Updating your status or watching a movie you won’t remember next week?

If this blog doesn’t speak to you, fine. Maybe you’re creative all the time. I just think that most people still haven’t discovered their passion, and don’t have the courage to seek it.

Why? In my opinion, believing in your creative energy is like believing in love. It takes courage. Go get some! 😀 I just did! ^look up^

I never blog as much as I want to because I never write as much as I want to in general. I am too lazy and/or afraid of actually thinking I might be good at it. Now, please write your own real or metaphorical blog. Knit or something. I don’t care. Just please, do not open up facebook and click refresh. Funny memes will always be there, but they’re not fulfilling unless maybe you were the one that wrote them.

All my love,

Julia

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You’re never too young to write a bucket list (life’s short!)

Posted on July 20, 2012 by Julia

Well hello!

So I’ve had a dramatic summer so far, and it got me thinking about growing up and being responsible. Then I thought, hey, I might die tomorrow.

Today, my dad and I were in the jeep after figuring out my apartment situation and buying some work shoes for him. We had a conversation about everything being a learning experience, especially mistakes. One of my biggest mistakes in my super long 20 years of learning experiences has been fear. I used to be afraid of everything. Surely, you all can understand that.

So (in the honor of not being afraid) said I, “I’m not even scared of death anymore. Hey, I should write a bucket list! But I don’t really want to call it a bucket list…”

My dad, clever man that he is, mumbled something.

“What?” I asked.

“Teacup list,” he said.

I was like “…”

“Oh, when my teacup is almost empty..” says my father in a clairvoyant girly voice.

 

HAHAHAHA. wut?

So here’s my teacup list. I’ve written about how everyone should do everything they want before they die. Join me in writing a teacup list. Less ominous than a bucket list, and if you don’t write it down you’re never going to do it. Come on, 3-year-olds have tea parties! It’s not about imminent death, it’s about imminent life 🙂 Live it up like Earl Grey, baby!

We make enough mistakes and have enough obstacles to turn life into the occasional crapstorm… but writing a list of things to do as soon as they’re physically and financially feasible costs nothing and makes you feel an eensy bit invincible. Try it!

Anyway, por fin (and in no particular order, mind you), here’s mine:

Julia’s First Life-Improving Teacup List

*join the Peace Corps (at least once)
*have a serious relationship
*go skydiving
*go to China
*go on the Empire State building
*go on a US roadtrip with someone special
*find a reason to visit all the states that weren’t part of the roadtrip
*raise some kids (maybe mine, maybe not)
*get an internship at at NGO in NYC
*write a book

That’s not the whole thing, because we always learn more :). I hope it gave you some ideas!

Love,

Julia

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Feeling pretty antsy (but over my mourning period?)

Posted on July 9, 2012 by Julia

Hey guys!

Obviously, the world stopped reading my blog once I was no longer globe-trotting, right? Wroooooong. My mother is TOTALLY still on here, so my after-Spain excuses are rendered invalid 😀

Also, I went to a cool place today (scroll through the “wah I’m home again” fest if you wanna get to that part 😉

After my father’s day post, I thought that I needed a break, and I did. I laughed, I cried, I family-timed, I went through some heavy emotions (implied by the laughed and cried?). Now I’m back on my feet and ready to rumble. Yes, I am going to be honest to all you future study-abroaders out there and say that coming home can be tough. Readjusting or facing reality or doing whatever it is that needs doing can be difficult.

However, I am now searching for an apartment in the city with two wonderful roomies (who are doing the bulk of the work because, alas, I am not there). I am also looking for a job to help pay for that apartment. 😀

Oh and I looked on esims for CCNY today… I HAVE A BLOCK ON MY RECORD. AGAIN. I don’t know if I’m just too impractical to figure out my school or if they have some sort of problem. I’ll figure it out, I guess. I shall call them tomorrow to ask what’s up.

I have one more week with my grandparents before they go back to Germany, and then a few more weeks just with my parents and my sis…. and obviously my awesome upstate friends 😀

Anybody ever heard of Our Lady of Martyrs in Auriesville, NY? Yeah, me neither. Apparently the first Native American EVER to be made a Saint by the Catholic Church was born there. The place is actually sort of a park devoted to three martyrs. One of them is credited with bringing Catholicism to New York, which, after a Tudors marathon, I’m not sure was that great of an idea. Although I don’t think I would have tried to get out of a marriage with Catherine of Aragon. She spoke Spanish! (admittedly, she does not do so very well in the show…. but maybe TV isn’t reality?)

So back to the first Native American Saint’s birthplace. The park is cute. Here’s the website: http://www.martyrshrine.org/

Her name was Kateri Tekagwitha, and she was the daughter of a Mohawk father and an Algonquin mother. Her parents and siblings died of smallpox. She had to flee to Canada because of persecution.

Speaking of Canada, guess where I am going for reasons of love rather than hate this year! Yeah, you pat yourself on the back 😀

Montreal, baby.

Before that, an apartment has to be got, a job has to be found, a 4.0 needs to stay a 4.0, a lot of awesome people need to be skyped, and a chill upstate summer will be enjoyed.

Love you all (seriously, and in a really hippie, we are all on the same earth kind of way),

Julia

 

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Why I Love My Daddy (and not only on father’s day!)

Posted on June 17, 2012 by Julia

So there’s this thing called being a Daddy’s girl. I had that covered when I was little. If stories are to be believed, I used to say “Mami has own couch!” when she tried to join us in the living room. I worshipped my Daddy as if he was a god, and I had reasons. When we were little, we had to go to Kindergarten (daycare in Germany) because our parents both worked, and it wasn’t our grandparents’ job to raise us. My favorite days were the ones we skipped with Craigy (we call him by his first name because our parents used to think it was cute, and we liked to hear them laugh. Also, my mom hates it when parents call each other mom and dad. It makes her think of the gross southern songs where you say “Mommah” to the girl you’re about to take home…. ew ew ew. FREUD MUCH)

My Dad is cooler than your dad 😀

So, Craigy would show up randomly when his irregular nursing schedule gave him a day off in the middle of the week, and take us out. If we didn’t even show up at Kindergarten, all the ladies that worked there knew that Herr Dancer had a day off. We would take the train to the city and play on playgrounds. It was the best. We climbed up those big spider-looking things made of red rope, ran across wooden castles with lots of ladders, and let him push us on swings. Sometimes I think he enjoyed it even more than we did, which is one of the things that made him such a great father. We’d play like crazy people and he’d tell us fun stories and make us laugh. I challenge anyone to show me a Dad that played quite as well as my Craigy.

After the playground, he’d sometimes take us to Mami’s work so we could play with staplers and listen to adult conversations for a few minutes. It’s great to have parents that are so in love that they visit each other at lunch 😀 Like, “Hey, Schootie, I wanted to see you. Look, I brought the kids. Why don’t you tell Mami what we did today, sweetie!”

I love my dad for so many reasons, one of them being that he even survived being in Germany to make us happy. He was sooo homesick those last years. Spending 10 years in Germany so that your kids can have a better childhood by living super close to their grandparents while you get a cheaper education to have more money to spend on them is a challenge that not many would conquer. Let’s keep in mind that my father started his education as a nurse in Germany without speaking the language. He graduated with super grades and did a fantastic job once he did begin to work.

The only person that ever spoke English to us in Germany was our dad. He gave us little workbooks to make sure we could spell, and he read Harry Potter to us. He even did the voices. Hermione was girly, Hagrid had a deep voice, and, I swear that every single person had a unique voice and he always remembered how everyone spoke.

I love my father because the most important thing to him is that we are happy and protected. I love him because he didn’t go crazy on the outside when I said I was going to college in Harlem. He worries so much about his two girls, but he lets us experience life. He doesn’t tell us what we need to do or where we need to go. Obviously, he’d like to lock me in my room until I’m 35 so that I can’t come across the evil of the world or do anything that he doesn’t approve of. Thanks to his immense willpower, he doesn’t show that side of him. Like every good dad of daughters, he attempts to control those overprotective emotions. He’s great because he succeeds so well.

“You want to go WHERE?”

Not every dad has to deal with a daughter like me. I’m exactly like him, so everything that we have in common annoys me about him and vice-versa. He was in the army at my age… well, I want to go into the Peace Corps. Instead of telling me I’m completely insane for wanting to be shot and killed by maniacs and drug-dealers in some horrible third-world country (like he wants to), he goes for a little “you have to be careful.” I’m sure he expects the worst of this situation because his little girl is going to be in a very dangerous place, surrounded by poverty. However, he respects that I want to go from the big city (where he didn’t want me to be) straight to Colombia or China or someplace where they might need my help.

I love my daddy so much because he’s a smart, inventive, creative, klugscheiß-ing (yay Germenglish), interesting, hardworking, loving, strong person. I love him so much because, as my grandma says, I’m 3/4 American and 1/4 German. I think she’s wrong. I’m obviously half and half, but I am definitely 3/4 my dad and 1/4 my mom, if any numbers can be used for such a thing. Basically everything good and everything bad that I genetically have in my personality is from him. I am my Daddy in girl form. Yes, my mother had a great impact on who I am, especially because teenage Julie stopped being a daddy’s girl. However, as I get older and become something resembling an adult, their positions are evening out once more. I often feel again like a Daddy’s girl, and I have to say I missed him terribly when I was in Spain. My Daddy is a great man, and he makes me feel happy and safe and taken care of. My Daddy is epic and I love him, and I hope his father’s day is great. I hope his life is great. He worked hard to have everything that he has, and to give us a wonderful childhood. I bet he’d still come jump around on a playground with me if I asked him right now… Actually, I’ll be right back.. 😉

Jk we’re going to watch Germany beat the crap out of Denmark now

Much Love (especially to my daddy and all the dads out there this fine father’s day),

Julia

P.S. Did I mention that my dad is better than your dad? Cuz he is. Arguing is futile. <3

Posted in Summer 2012 | 1 Comment

Well Hello there (I’m not dramatic)

Posted on June 17, 2012 by Julia

So, my last blog was a bit much, but I stand by it. My heart broke into a million pieces for three days straight, but I’m okay now. I spent a week with my German family, and I enjoyed it immensely. It was epic and great to see my cousins again before leaving Europe. Sometimes a person needs a transition period, and going to Germany for 7 days before leaving Europe for good was perfect.

AMURRICA. F YEAH! 😀

I came back to the US two days ago, and it felt wonderful to see my family again. What everyone says about coming home from studying abroad happened to me in more or less the stereotypical way. If it’s true or not, most people (which includes me) end up feeling as though they changed, but nothing at home did. That’s traumatic in a way because you feel like you don’t exactly fit where you were before. Everything survived without you, and you survived without it. It’s coming home to a place that is no longer actually your home. This reminds me a lot of a friend of mine in Spain. He called us twin souls because we both don’t feel like we belong anywhere. We have homes, but in the plural. In the end, you’re just a citizen of the world once you’ve come to see more than one place as yours, because you’re never actually home.

Let me explain: He was born in Logroño, but his parents are both from different places in Spain (one of them from Cataluña, which is a different story because it’s Spain but not really… they have their own language and culture, and they don’t feel exactly Spanish). If everything works out the way he wants he’s going to China in a month. He might as well, because his homes are more or less scattered, and his heritage/identity is nonspecific. That must be similar to how the children of immigrants feel.

Back to me coming home…. apparently I am self-involved and I act like the popular girls in high school. Apparently I am no longer me, but in a negative way. Maybe the stress of the move back has affected the way I act because in Spain I was happy and nice and pretty much the most optimistic person in my group of friends. Yes, my experiences in Europe made me a different person than I was before, but all I saw of the changes was my more positive outlook, my less stressed disposition, and a dramatic increase in self-confidence…

Well, a whole summer of reflection lies ahead.

Love,

Julia

P.S. This blog may or may not become a UEFA EURO 2012 blog. GERMANY IS PLAYING AGAINST DENMARK TODAY. (and winning 😉 I’ve got a bet going with a Catalán boy (who happens to believe that Spain is getting farther than Germany hahah)….

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I can’t write anything (because I don’t think you’ll understand)

Posted on June 5, 2012 by Julia

I seriously don’t want to think.

I graduated today.

Half the people I love here are going to be gone my 2 am tomorrow.

I don’t want to feel it but I just keep crying.

I loved being here, I loved everyone I met.

I found myself.

Thank you, Spain.

 

(I’m only writing right now because I feel like I need to document this day, not because I want to.)

My heart

is breaking all over

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On Brides, Birth Control and Freedom (this week’s episode of Oprah?)

Posted on May 22, 2012 by Julia

Okay so maybe some things should not be in titles because they sound like I’m writing a soap opera that includes a bit of the American Dream….. but that’s my life in a nutshell. So there we go.

Brides. Why are they in the title? Well, in a small village called Sorzano, close to the capital of La Rioja, there is a tradition. It is a tradition based on women being property, but what tradition isn’t? :p

So here’s a sad lil translation of what I read online in Spanish (I’m pretending I understand it, so bear with me): The third Sunday in May sees a parade/procession of questionable origins go from the church in town to a little church up the hill. It is called  Fiesta de las Cien Doncellas (roughly “Celebration of the 100 Maidens”). The first thing I heard was the tale of virginal tribute being paid to Abderramán II by the Christian villages to avoid being attacked. Apparently there has been an inquest into this, and it is now being said that the procession in which any girl over 13 (and wearing a wedding dress) can participate, comes from a pagan ritual. It is possible that young virgins used to keep a sacred fire going for the Goddess Vesta, so that’s a thing….. Here’s a secret: I believe the tribute one more. However, it does make sense that it could be a pagan rite because, like most pagan rites, it has been incorporated into the Catholic goings-on of Europe.

Shortest one: me. Why? A)short B)wearing flip-flops instead of heels, like everyone else

The girls walk up the hill, accompanied by music, dancers, and an audience. When they reach the top, they sit up next to an altar-like area, while everyone else sits down below watching the priest give a service. And let me tell you, this year was not the year to be a doncella. I was SO COLD up there, waiting for the service to be over. Oh, yeah, did I mention…. MY FRIENDS AND I WENT TO SORZANO TO LOOK LIKE BRIDES?

haha yeah, we’re awesome. We were a bit older than most of the girls, but we figured since they stopped caring if the girls were actually virgins, being in the ballpark with age should be okay, too. I think you can participate until you’re 25, so YAYA… I’m only 20. I’M 20!!!!! Yeah, my birthday was epic and amazing.

Something that’s not epic and amazing, and that also makes me feel like women still don’t really belong to themselves: THE PILL. First of all, it’s based on animal cruelty and hormone manipulation. Second of all, it can cause so many medical problems. Basically, the only remotely non-disgusting option of birth control is to practice abstinence, like those first doncellas of Sorzano. But this is the 21st century, and abstinence is a bit like communism. The idea is kinda nice, but have you really seen any proof of it working on a large scale in the real world? If so, please comment and let me know.

So, birth control: a bit like slavery, honestly. Sure it’s slavery to your own body, but it still feels a bit crushing. Also, most condoms include animal ingredients, which means some poor animal had to suffer for you to have a roll in the hay. The pill comes along with so many side-effects and includes a bunch of whacky things that I would not like to put into my body. Recently, Intra-Uterine Devices have made a comeback because you just put it in and don’t worry for a few years… but even those can really harm your body. In the end, there is no safe way to alter what our bodies are naturally programmed to do. Going by your cycle to judge when you wouldn’t get pregnant is quite the opposite of foolproof so, as my mother said  the other day, “You could just get married early and have 10 children.” She’s a wise lady. Although 10 children would probably drive most modern-day women insane.

We have evolved (at least in some countries) past the women as property concept. Kudos to the world. However, birth control needs to be improved. The only moral AND practical way I can think of are vegan condoms or a histerectomy (which prevents babies… forever…. soo… yeahno)

World, work on that. True freedom includes having good choices instead of multiple bad/dangerous ones.

Me. Kelly. Kelly. Charlotte. Emily. 4 days. Beaches.

Speaking of bad and dangerous things, I have my final exam on thursday. I’m going to Gran Canaria for 4 days, then I have a week of class, then I’m going to Germany for a week. I’ll be in the US in 24 days, which is kind of like gaining and losing all my freedom, all at the same time. I’m going to miss Spain soooooo much. Maybe I’ll come back and live in Europe a bit after the Peace Corps.

Okay, time to go to Chinese class with two of my lovely friends.. They’re going to teach me some words and help me make a QQ so I can chat with people in China.

Love y’all

Don’t get pregz

~Julia

 

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