“Oh, say can you see, by the dawn’s early light…” These words can be heard at the start of every game, assemble, and patriotic gathering. These words have the power to move the American spirit and even bring tears to the eyes of the truly proud. However, for many Americans another anthem also runs through their veins. Another song can bring them together. Another song has the power to move them to tears. For me, it’s “Jaya jaya jaya, Jaya He – Victory, victory victory to thee” the Indian national anthem.
As an American born Indian, its confusing as to how my love for the Indian culture, traditions, morals, and values still run through my veins and guide my way of life and helped shaped me into who I am today. However, I have the strong faith and national pride of my parents to thank for this immense love of my Indian culture.
My parents are both from Kerala, a southern state in India. My dad grew up in the small town of Poonjar, while my mom grew up in Peermade. Both Poonjar and Peermade are small towns were all the neighbors knew each other and nothing could be kept a secret. Although the closest neighbors from my dad were a five-minute walk, the distance didn’t prevent them from gathering together at night to play cricket or badminton.
Both my parents came from big families: my dad is the middle child of nine, while my mom is the youngest of five. With their siblings always by their sides, days would pass by like seconds and childhood flew by but memories always remained. At the age of 27, my dad’s mom decided she wanted her children to have a better life than they did in India. At that point, all of my dad’s older siblings were married and one of them lived in America already. After working out the paper working, applying for a passport and visa, they were finally allowed to embark on their new journey.
It was a bitter-sweet moment – my dad was excited to start a new chapter in his life, but he was heartbroken to leave behind his parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, and homeland where he grew up and knew like the back of his hand. Once in America, he lived in a one-bedroom apartment with his younger brother and two younger sisters. As the oldest here, my dad worked hard to learn English by going to English classes and finding a job at Bayley Citen Hospital. As the years flew by, his siblings began to find jobs or attend school as well. In 1989, my dad was called back to India to marry my mom.
As the youngest child, my mom always wanted to expand her education and learn more. After tenth grade, she entered into St. Dominic’s Pre-Degree College, then B.C.M. College in Kottayam, and finally Christian Fellowship College in Kottayam to become a dietician. At the age of 24, she married my dad. However, it took her 3 years to receive her visa to come here. After five years of marriage, they had their first-born child, me. Two years later, they had my little sister, Tracy.
Since my sister and I were the first children of the family born in America, our parents were worried. They didn’t want us to become consumed by the American culture to the point we wouldn’t remember our Indian culture, language, traditions, and customs. As a result, they made sure we knew our Indian language, Malayalam, to the point where we didn’t know any English. When I first went to pre-school, I didn’t know any English and sat in the corner of the classroom too afraid to talk. However, I learned the language and became a pro at English, well as good as any other 3 year old at that time that is.
Growing up, my parents were always strict on me. At the time, I was furious because I was never allowed to go to sleep-overs, birthday parties, play dates, or hang out with my friends unless my parents knew the family very well. I remember this one time; I was invited to a pool party at a friend’s house when I was eleven. I was excited and hoped by parents would say yes. However, when they said no, I was heartbroken and remember questioning them as to why I wasn’t allowed to go. I remember them saying it wasn’t part of whom we were to go. Both my parents and I do realize how extreme the situation was. However, as I became older, they did allow me to go to more parties and various social gatherings with friends because they knew they could trust me at that point. I realize now that they did all of this so that I wouldn’t become consumed by the American culture. I may be American at heart, but I am also Indian and love my culture, which wouldn’t be possible if my parents didn’t take me back to India.
Every two years, my parents take us back to India to see our grandparents and the rest of our family members. At first, I was reluctant to return back to “my parents homeland”. At the age of seven, I didn’t want to stay there for the entire summer. I wanted to stay here in “my homeland” and hang out with my friends. However, after I realized I was able to communicate with my grandparents and cousins in Malayalam, the trip changed. I was thrilled to be there and hang out with my cousins. I still remember all the walks through the tea plantations, chasing the chickens on the farm, and simply sitting on the porch with my grandparents listening to their stories of the good old days.
Eleven years later, I was more than ecstatic to be able to return for the entire summer before I entered college. I was so excited that I decided that I didn’t want to go to my senior prom and instead used that money when I went to India. I was more than grateful to return to “my true” homeland. It was during this trip by myself that I realized how truly grateful I was to my parents for raising me the way they did. I was able to converse with ease with everyone there because my parents made me speak Malayalam at home. I was able to easily blend into any situation and occasion that arose because my parents instilled in me the importance of the Indian culture, tradition, values and lifestyle.
Since my parents were immigrants, they never took anything for granted and always worked hard at whatever they did. They instilled in both my sister and I the need to work hard to achieve our goals because nothing in life will be handed to us. This idea has helped us become who we are too. I don’t think we would have worked as hard as we do today if we didn’t see our parents struggle to make ends meet and ensure we had everything we desired. We want to make them proud, just as they made their parents proud. We want to be able to victorious in the end and achieve our goals, which our parents know we will because we have the Indian spirit of “Jaya jaya jaya, Jaya He – Victory, victory victory to thee” running through our blood.
