My extended family had already settled in the United States in the 1970’s prior to my parents immigrating. Many of my aunts and uncles had come with their families to either build businesses or to get a better education; basically the opportunities that most people come to America for. My father was the first person to come to the US. He had just married my mother when he left “el Seibo” in the Dominican Republic in 1989 to make a living because he was fooling around back home and now had a family to support. My father was a bit of a wild child, who rode motorcycles, swam in rivers and partied hard. He never finished high school. My mother, on the other hand, lived a rather sheltered life and wasn’t allowed to go anywhere without a chaperone.

Both families lived on the countryside, growing a majority of their crops on their land; such as plantains, mangoes, and cassava. They also raised livestock such as chickens, pigs, and cows. They even owned horses and rabbits! They would play a game in which they would chase an irate chicken in its pen to test their agility and whoever caught it first would win a prize. I thought it was a bit cruel but very funny to imagine. Living in the Dominican Republic is like living in your own little world. My mother would tell me that her parents wouldn’t let her date my father because he was so much older than her but his genuine interest soon won them over. She was pregnant with my eldest brother when my father left and would soon follow him after she gave birth; she was about 20 years old.

I have a rather large family. Americans and people from Latin American countries have distinct ideas of what a nuclear family is. For Americans, it would include just the parents and children but for Latin@s it is that including uncles, aunts, cousins etc. Prior to my parents’ divorce, I lived with my mother, father, two older brothers and my two sisters. For extended periods of time my older half-sister from my father’s side of the family and her baby daughter also lived with us as well as my aunt. I am the second youngest child and my sisters and I are triplets. Naturally, this phenomena has led to a rather unique life that has blessed me with the ability to understand various perspectives and remain open-minded.  Severe importance is placed on kinship and it is imperative that we maintain positive relationships with not only our family in the states but in the Dominican Republic as well because one never knows when their help will be needed.

My parents took a plane from their island to America, and my father absolutely hated it. To my knowledge he has never flown again after coming to America. My mother said immigration officials were much nicer in the past than they are now. Personally, I think she had such a good experience because she was attractive and the officials felt nervous around her.

Coming from a rural land of simplicity and profound familial kinship, where family was always around and she had protection from the males, coming to America was an extreme culture shock for my mother. She was so distrustful of people that she wouldn’t speak to anyone and avoided them at all cost. She recalled the first time she met my Godmother. My mother had been looking for an address to a building and had gotten lost. A lady, now my Godmother Josie, had approached her and asked her if she needed help. Reluctantly, my mom accepted her help but fortunately we would later discover that she lived in the same building as us with her children. I’m not sure how the relationship grew from there, but while my dad worked she would come over all the time to help our mom with us kids and in turn she would help with hers.

By the time we were a full family of two boys, three girls and two adults we were all still living in the same one bedroom apartment that my father had rented when he first came to America. My mother was in charge of every domestic aspect of the family’s life and my father was a distant figure who was always working.

In my family, there has never been a saying we go by but a general belief that everything happens for a reason, whether it is good or bad. My personal belief is that there are no coincidences in life and that somehow everything is destined to happen. This idea normally arises after something potentially life altering, whether it be positive or negative, has occurred in the family, which is quite often. Although my parent’s divorce led us live a more difficult life in terms of finances and support, the events that preceded this would have never happened.

If it’s one thing that has been significantly impressed on me by my family that I completely agree with, it would be that one should work to find their own way and learn to support oneself. Through regular interaction with my family, I always hear something along the lines of “Make something out of yourself so you can avoid depending on someone else for your livelihood.” My family has instilled in me that relying on others is bothersome and dishonorable. Showing that you have the means to live, whether it be through education, work or money, is applauded and constant growth is promoted. Although a majority of my family has a limited education, and I will be one of the first to graduate college, they sincerely believe that this is the key to a better life. Two years ago, I never even imagined that I would be going to college but life has a way of throwing you some curve balls. My family may just have a point.