Both of my parents came to America from the Philippines, but that fact has never been a topic of conversation in my family. Whenever we talk about the Philippines in our household, usually it’s only about family that currently live there or about the various things my father did as a child. I like to imagine my parents coming here, to America, when they were young. Especially since my older sisters that my father had in another marriage are already in their twenties and were born here in America while my older brothers from a completely different mother from my own and my sisters’ mother are going on to thirty years old and were born in the Philippines, I suspect my father came to America sometime during his late twenties. As for my mother, I have very little information on when she came to America, especially since she came here without her family. Unlike my father’s side of the family, who live mostly in America, all of my mother’s side of the family still live in the Philippines.
My mother studied nursing in the Philippines, which got her a job in America that she still works at to this day. In Filipino-American culture, nursing seems to be the “go to” job for many people. Most of the Filipino people my family has come into contact with are usually nurses, or have family members who are nurses. This “stereotype” really influenced me during my college application process. I didn’t want to be a nurse, but I did try to stay in the medical field and kept that in mind when I applied to schools. When I applied to schools I checked for their medical programs and applied to as many as I could. Of course this mind set on the medical field was a way for me to mold into what my nationality found important, but also my mindset was a product of exposure to only medical jobs as I was growing up.
My father worked in America as a freelancing DJ for parties which mostly only happened during the weekends. This meant that for every other day he was a stay at home dad. I guess music tends to run in my family because my dad was a DJ; my younger sister sings really well and I write songs. As a young kid, my father exposed my younger sister and me to a lot of music; and since most of the parties he DJ’d were for Filipino families, my sister and I got exposed to a wide variety of Filipino music and culture.
The culture of the Filipino-American can be witnessed through the parties and their structure. The most common form of a party for the Filipino-American is the pot luck where families come together and bring their own dish. During these parties, parents and kids separate into different parts of the house. The adults sing karaoke and play mahjong until it gets late while the kids usually stay in a room around a tv, playing a videogame or card game. A lot of my memories as a kid consist of playing Mario Party, Dance Dance Revolution, and hide and seek. These parties end up becoming a ritual where every weekend is a potluck.
Another form of party that shows Filipino-American culture are the parties that happen in halls, usually for birthdays. First of all most of the halls that these parties take place at are usually part of a church, and this is because we like to keep a good relationship with our churches. These parties are loosely structured and tend to be the same every time. Families come in and the first thing anyone does is eat. The food consists of Filipino cuisine — lumpia shanghai (a miniature egg roll with meat), adobo chicken, kare kare (oxtail and peanut butter), and most importantly the Lechon. The lechon is presented as a whole roasted pig and is usually the centerpiece of the food line up. After everyone eats, kids run around playing tag while the parents dance. Sometime after, the DJ starts the line dances, which usually ends the night. Everyone, even the kids, join in on the line dances which end up being muscle memory and a fun time for everyone. I still have every song I’ve danced repeatedly in every party ingrained in my mind.
These parties have influenced me in so many ways, bring me closer to my families and friends, and keeping me tied to my roots by surrounding me with people who have lived in the Philippines, which really is the reason why we have these parties. Filipinos like to be around other Filipinos because we are a proud country. Every time a Filipino singer makes it big, like Charice Pempengco, everyone comes together and talks about them, supporting them as much as they can. Every time Manny Pacquiao has a boxing match, everyone comes together around one TV to watch the fight and cheer him on. If I could summarize how this has affected me, I’d say that it’s made me proud to be who I am because I know if anything happens I have a group of people who will believe in me.
This pride is especially important to me because pride for a Filipino-American translates to support, and there are many choices I’ve made recently that my parents have been very supportive of. One of these choices being my change in heart towards the medical field. Even though my parents really wanted me to become a doctor, they understood that I lost interest in it. Also they’ve been supportive with my music writing, despite the fact that they don’t believe I can make a career out of it, they have shared my music and tell all of their friends. I love that I can make a choice on my own, and have people believe in me and this is what being Filipino means to me.
