Author: rdenisi

Hey Anton! I wanted to say that I really enjoyed your post and thought it was fascinating on how you see life from different perspectives. Before last year, the furthest I’ve ever been was Vermont, and here you are traveling the world before your own eyes. It’s amazing to gain all these perspectives, but I can see why it can be hard to fit into one group of people. It is really commendable to how you have accepted that you are different and you use that to your advantage rather than let it bring you down. It’s also great to see how hungry you are for more knowledge instead of being content with all the information you have gathered thus far. I agree with you that the Real is something that will always change as we learn more and more about what it truly means to grasp this concept, but I believe the Real can be impossible for some depending on their mindset. For me, I decided to let go of that and rather go for experiences, but even they can be out of your control, as shown by my post/novel. There’s a saying that goes something like “Though I don’t understand the meaning of love, I do not mind if I die trying” (That may or may not be a Maroon 5 reference). We may never understand that Real, but it’s okay if we die trying to achieve it because it is the journey that matters, as Justin so eloquently put it. I really hope you continue to learn more about the world and that it one day becomes your oyster, if it hasn’t already.

I can easily make this another thank you letter to how my friends, family, or Maroon 5, and how they have led me closer to the Real with each passing day. However, how can I know they have led me so close to something I have never even tasted? There is something wrong with that previous statement, as I can remember one moment, just one moment throughout my 18 years on this Earth, where I felt as though I could reach the Real. What I’ve realized is that in order to achieve that Real, you must be between some saddest moments in your life, as it makes that experience that much sweeter.

It is impossible to live in complete happiness or sadness because we instead live in between these categories based on the events that happen around us. It is hard to believe this statement when it feels like one bad thing happens after another. This was the story of my life in 2013 when my grandmother past away. That was the hardest death I ever had to face because my two grandfathers had died before I was born and my other grandmother died when I was young. Therefore, this was the biggest death that ever happened to me and it hurt me so bad. Now, imagine going through all this pain after the nicest and most caring person in the world just died, and add the first day of high school 2 weeks later. The hardest time in my life came along with the hardest transition of my life. It makes me cry just thinking and writing about it.

As the weeks roll by, the pain does seem to fade away at times, but comes back to haunt me at the worst times, from kids talking about their grandparents to even driving around her old neighborhood, bringing up old memories that I never appreciated enough and will never ever get back. But if I had to say one thing that helped me get through the hardest time in my life, it would be the New York Rangers. As you all know, I am a big sports fan, but during that time (to make matters worse), everybody was still laughing at the Jets, the Knicks were beginning their long and hard decline, and the Yankees weren’t doing anything special. But the Rangers were certainly doing something special, and I am forever grateful for what they have done for me in my hardest of times.

At this time, I wasn’t the biggest of hockey fans. I would keep up with the scores and watch some Ranger games, but I wouldn’t consider myself a big fan. Just a causal fan watching their team. However, as the Rangers continued their season, the showed unbelievable grit and determination to fight for every single game no matter the score and no matter the cost. You would see small Mats Zuccarello and his 5’7” body running into walls and speeding past every single person that was bigger than him (which was everybody) and then give a selfless pass at the end to get the assist, not the goal for himself. You would see Henrik Lundqvist making the most unbelievable saves that would make anybody’s head turn upside down. As the season grew, I definitely was a much bigger fan, but I wasn’t in love with the team at the time of the playoffs.

As the playoffs began, the Rangers were the 5th seed in the Eastern Conference, and for all you basketball fans, go back and think when the last time a 5th seed won a championship. Exactly. The Rangers were actually favored in their first series, but after that nobody gave them a chance. The had to go to a seven game series just to defeat the Flyers in the first round, and next up was the 2nd seed Pittsburgh Penguins, one of the best teams in hockey. I’m sorry this post is so long, but I’m just trying to get every detail so you can somehow feel what I went through.

This series was one of the most grueling series I could ever remember. The Rangers had to play 5 games in 7 days, when you should normally play 5 playoff games in about 10-12 days. Especially when these games were so important, the Rangers were exhausted, and that showed through the first 4 games of the series, as the Rangers lost 3 of them. The Rangers had never overcome a 3-1 deficit in their whole history, and they had been around for almost 90 years at the time of this series. Down to one of the best teams in hockey, exhausted, and having to overcome a deficit never done before turned out to be the least of the Rangers worries at the time. Soon after Game 4’s completion, Martin St. Louis, the shortest tenured Ranger, had found out that his mother had just died. Flashbacks suddenly came back to me of my grandmother, and my heart sunk in such a depressive state as I can only imagine what he was going through. His mother’s death was so unexpected and happened at the worst time in terms of hockey and life. Nonetheless, he played in Game 5, a game most experts said would be the Rangers last of the season.

The Rangers came in with such a fury never seemed before that it even took me by surprise. The Rangers won Game 5 5-1, as St. Louis continued to play as he mourned his mother’s death. Now this is my favorite part, so if you’re going to read any part of this post, read this part. Soon after Game 5, the Rangers absolutely had to return home to New York for Game 6 to practice and rest their already exhausted bodies. But Martin St. Louis had to stay back alone and attend his mother’s funeral. As St. Louis went to the funeral, the Rangers took the team bus back to New York. However, on that very day, SportsCenter cut to the funeral. As you see a crowded parking lot, a huge bus suddenly appears from out of nowhere. And, as tears began to fly off my eyes, one by one, a Ranger came off the bus in a beautiful suit ready to console their teammate and new friend. It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. A team that had to be in New York to get ready for a playoff game instead went to console a teammate that they just recently traded for and barely knew as a person, just as someone who just enters high school barely knows anybody n the first day of school.

I promise I’m getting to the end of the story soon. Now, as Game 6 started, Martin St. Louis got a rebound and quickly scored the first goal in the game. One of the reasons as to why I love hockey so much (something that I first began to love at that point) is that the players always high five and hug each other after a team goal. But there was something special about this moment when St. Louis scored and all his teammates quickly consoled him in the corner of the rink. Did I forget to mention St. Louis scored the first goal on Mother’s Day? If you gave this script to a Hollywood producer, he would throw it away for being too cheesy and impossible to happen.

The Rangers went on to win that series in 7 games, and then came the Montreal Canadiens, a team who had one of the best goaltenders in hockey. But they forgot about our goaltender, Henrik Lundqvist, who is without a doubt the best goaltender in hockey. In Game 4, with the Rangers up 2-1 in the series and in a pivotal overtime game, the puck somehow found its way to, somehow, you guessed it, Martin St. Louis, who quickly scored the overtime goal. Henrik Lundqvist went on to make the most memorable save in my lifetime in Game 6 to lead the Rangers to the first Stanley Cup Final in my lifetime. As the Rangers hugged each other to death, I could only think about how happy I was, happy for one of the first times in a long time, and the first time I could remember my grandmother with a smile on my face. I could taste the Real, it was right there in front of me. If you truly worked hard enough you could accomplish anything no matter what other people believed at first. The haters will soon understand and show their love to you too, as hockey soon took over this town as it deserved. This team finally got the recognition it deserved after so many years of playing second fiddle to every other sport. The Rangers, total underdogs, got on the cover of Sports Illustrated as the underdog that everybody has come to love. It was finally happening. After one of the hardest times in my life, my luck was finally turning around and a team built around nothing but heart was going to finally get what they deserved: a Stanley Cup title.

As the first two games went by, the Rangers lost in overtime and double overtime, respectively, and were quickly down 2-0 in the series. They then lost Game 3 of the series and had to win every single game from then on in order to win a Stanley Cup. It was nearly impossible, but after reading all this, we know nothing is impossible when it came to these Rangers. But, as these 3 games went by, there was a different vibe. The Rangers weren’t getting any lucky bounces and were getting very unlucky for a team that was putting their hearts and souls into every game. Skipping to Game 5 of the series, the Rangers were once again in double overtime with the Kings. Whoever scored next would win, and if the Kings scored, they would be champions. Henrik Lundqvist made 48 saves that game when a goalie should normally only face 30, but the 51st shot of the game was the last he faced that season, as the Kings scored off a rebound from a Lundqvist save and shot it into an open net to win the Stanley Cup.

As I sat there in silence watching each member of the Kings storm the rink in celebration, all I could do was cry. As Henrik Lundqvist, my favorite player and the man most deserving of a Stanley Cup, lay flat on the ground in misery, I cried. As the Kings lifted the Stanley Cup up each time, I cried. And as I look over to my dad, who was watching every game with me every step of the way, he was also crying. I had only seen him cry one other time in my life.

Therefore, through that small taste I had of the Real, I also had some of the worst moments of my life. I hope that I will one day achieve the Real, but I know I will never get that experience again, and maybe that is what I truly wanted all along. I guess we’ll never know.

When I first listened to David Bowie’s “Sound and Vision,” I’ll be honest in saying that I wasn’t a big fan. I guess I just expected more because David Bowie is so iconic and legendary that I expected something so different, but still something that soothes my ears. I did’t really get either out of this performance. However, I think the larger performance actually added something to the song, yet also took a key component away, arguably one of the most important components of the song.

This larger performance added to the exhilaration of the song, and definitely made it more interesting to see all those instruments blend together, both individually and in larger groups. Honestly, as Ivan said, it would be easier to wonder what instruments and vocals weren’t used than what were. I think this fits with what the world expects out of something new from an original idea. Whenever we get the newest phone, gaming system, or even house, we want something different. We want it to be bigger, better, and just more grand. However, I think we don’t realize that we still, subconsciously, want something from that original element, as if nostalgia still looms large even in the material aspects of life. When we hear a cover of a song, it always gets hell from every single critic out there for “ruining the song.” I always think to myself, “If you want it to sound like the original, here’s an idea: LISTEN TO THE ORIGINAL!” Why must the cover of a song contain the same elements as the original song? Granted, the original may be the perfect way the song could be performed, but we don’t look for perfect in a song. If that were true, we would all be fans of the most meticulous classical music, not the ones where the “musician” simply hits a button on their computer and makes music. We like things to be broken because we are broken ourselves. Therefore, I do like that this cover took a different direction, and I applaud Beck for his courage in covering this song.

However, as mentioned earlier, this cover took away a key component of the song: imagination. I thought the best line, strangely, was the chorus. Bowie states how he wonders about sound and vision. However, in this cover, you can’t wonder about sound nor vision because every sound and vision was presented before us. When we saw the jazz bands perform, it was not meant for our minds to wander. All those instruments were making one big sound to relax us and calm us down so we could just sit there and enjoy the music. Beck was going for the same thing here by trying to just have fun with the piece while unintentionally taking out one of the biggest elements of Bowie’s original songs in imagination.

With all that being said, I am not a big fan of either version of the song, so take my opinion with a grain of salt in the fact that I am not able to fully grasp this song for what it is truly worth.

“The only way people can really describe pain is to objectify it.” I’m not going to lie, the first time I heard this quote, it seemed so true. Who the hell just says I’m in pain and expect everyone else to understand what they’re talking about? This statement almost certainly follows the question “Are you okay?” Obviously not if I just said I’m in pain! This goes to show you how little humans know about pain, so in order to gain a better understanding of this, they bring objects in to the matter. This leads to statements like “My head is pounding like a bell.” If that were really the case, it’s not that bad. You’ll be with Jesus soon. In all seriousness, this is not really an accurate representation of how we feel, but it is better than the simple “I’m in pain.” This does encourage me about the process of creation as we can have so many different quotes, so many different meanings, so many emotions, so many tears (I may need therapy), just from objectifying pain. However, I realize there are only so many objects that we can use to objectify pain, meaning that with all the new songs that come out everyday, we will soon get bored of that same stupid analogy of that pounding or splitting headache. Once again, if your headache was splitting you…forget it. Not to say these analogies are bad, they just get stale after a while. How do we fix this problem. Never fear, Maroon 5 is here! Here’s the thing: since pain is an immaterial thing, why don’t we compare it to other immaterial things rather than tangible objects? I just so happened to be listening to “Whiskey” by none other than Maroon 5, and Adam Levine crooned into my ears “I admit that I would have sold my soul for a little more time.” How’s that for pain? I could feel the loneliness in the lyric, the emotion in his voice, that this person meant everything to him and he would have everything just to be with them at least one more time. As we know from philosophy, the soul is an immaterial thing, as well as time, yet in this lyric, they appear to be traded for each other. It’s really beautiful to show how immaterial things can mean so much to someone emotionally and and the physical toll it can take on someone, which we more generally know as pain. Of course, why even objectify pain when we have voices, capable of changing volumes and pitches to express greater pain. Sometimes simply screaming with futility, “I’m not fine, I’m in pain, it’s harder everyday” (“Better that We Break” by Maroon 5) with a depressing tone to accompany it is all we need to understand you.

“She suggests (Scarry) every impulse to make things—whether a painting, a chair, a poem, a vaccine or a building—is an attempt to ease the burden of sentience by shifting some of it onto the object.” Once again, at first glance, this seems like the perfect answer. Human beings see a problem, they try to fix it. Well…maybe not. There are always those times when yes, human beings, some of the laziest beings on Earth, love to drown in that burden and pile it on. Music is the perfect example of this. You think every musician…or band, makes a song to ease their burden. Most of the time this statement does reign true, but sometimes they love to drown in their sorrows so much that they make a song to feel even more depressed then before. Don’t lie to me! We’ve all had that moment where we just want to feel depressed, to continue to have those emotions and blast the most depressing music possible. Sometimes to ease the burden and let go ,but other times to feel even more and increase that burden, as if to punish ourselves for our wrongdoings. I’m not trying to say this is the norm, it is rare. However, it does happen, it is logically possible, and therefore, not every impulse is to ease our burden. This really enlightened me about the creation process after making this realization, as it helped me understand that not everything created has to be for a benefit, but to enhance a consequence. How is this a good thing? Without our lowest of lows, we wouldn’t have our highest of highs.

Part I: Man on A Wire and Let The Great World Spin really are the antithesis of each other when it comes to the deliveries and atmospheres they create when trying to explain the exact same scenario. The book really is much more structured, asa book should be, but it also makes the situation seem a little more robotic when it comes to emotion. For example, if Petit was really a man trying to commit suicide and had done so in the first few pages, I doubt any of us would have cried (not to say we wouldn’t feel anything at all). However, even though they were interviewing Petit throughout the documentary, it gave you more of an emotional connection and “behind the scenes” view of what was going on rather than a much wider, yet vaguer perspective that the book gives you. This had me sweating when Petit was actually walking across the buildings, even though I obviously knew he would survive (they were interviewing him after the fact, after all).  I was almost crying when he started to lay down! However, even a monologue by the judge at the end of the book seems to follow this standard of structured thinking (then again, he’s a judge, so that’s what he’s supposed to do). Nonetheless, you do see this structure to break at the edges a bit, as we see in Part II.

Part II: The fact that the judges get both Tillie and Jazzlyn and Petit on the same day is very symbolic on how easy it is to make a connection not only in this book, but in our lives as well. Characters that never seemed to ever have a connection between each other, or never seemed to have a purpose to meet, still found that connection between each other, even if it seems as insignificant as meeting in court on the same day. The point behind this is that even meetings by chance, which often seem insignificant (unless you’ve seen every romantic comedy movie ever), can hold greater significance to the world as a whole, even if it does only the simplest things for the actual characters involved. In other words, connections between characters may not do much for the actual characters themselves when it stands alone, but with all the connections combined (see Olivia’s chart), they add to the piece as a whole due to the fact that it exemplifies how absolutely anything can make a connection between two people, and that these connections sometimes may add to the emotional or physical strength of a character, but other times may provide a symbol for a cause greater than the characters themselves. In this case, it shows the corruption within the “interpretation of the law.” If Pettit and Tillie and Jazzlyn were on separate days, one can make the argument that the judge may have been having a bad day during one of the cases, or the judge had an epiphany. In this case, we can tell the judge does have some bias to him, and therefore we are led to feel more sympathy towards Jazzlyn and Tillie. Like G said, the judge makes a distinction between “good crimes” and “bad crimes.”

Part III: I believe the reason behind the placement of parts 1 and 2 before part 3 is because, simply enough, these two parts lead into and have a special connection to part 3 just s each of the characters seem to have a unique connection between each other. It is really left up to the reader’s interpretation of what it truly means that the world is spinning (which is why it was placed at the end). I believe that it is the connections that occur between the world, from the main ones such as Ciaran and Corrigan (a brotherly love) to symbolic ones (Petit and Tillie and Jazzlyn showing the corruption within law and distinguishing between “good” and “bad” crimes), that really makes the world spin. Think about it: Olivia spent all that time on that beautiful chart (she deserves extra credit for that), and the sad thing is she didn’t even get every connection. There are so many things that appear to simply be factors of the humdrum of everyday life that are actual connections between humans, humans and animals, or even humans and their environment. Therefore, I will make a bold statement in saying just as there probably was a new connection on every single page of this novel (if you look close enough), there is a new connection made every second for every day, and those connections are so powerful that they are just strong enough to give the world the slightest push when standing alone, but completely rotating it when coming together. Therefore, the bridge made between the prologue and the ending was the connections that brought them all together.

A bridge that unsettled me at first was the connection between Lara and Ciaran. At first, I am thinking to myself: why the hell is Ciaran going after the girl that led to his brother’s death? Are you crazy?! However, almost immediately after this thought, I decided to give them a chance because crazier things in life have led to love, so why not this? I started to convince myself that Lara didn’t cause Corrigan’s death, and how she really is perfect for Ciaran. It’s crazy how the perspective of a book can change when you are simply looking for things that would confirm your theory (see confirmation bias in your psychology notes, if you actually took any). Now, looking back on things (see hindsight bias in your notes, now that you have them open), I realize that Lara helped catapult Ciaran as a good guy that you should be rooting for (if you already weren’t doing so), because even after all that hell he went through, he is still ready to forgive almost anyone, something we can all learn from.

The connection that made my heart sing was Corrigan and the love he showed with the rest of his environment and the people that inhabited it. No matter what Corrigan went through, he was always a great man and showed great charity to others without ever endorsing a religion, showing that he truly did what he did because he genuinely wanted to help others. I’m not going to lie, I thought Corrigan was a little annoying and troublesome at first, but I soon saw the error of my ways as soon as he gave his own blanket away to a stranger. At that age, I still was hogging up the last cookie at Thanksgiving, so you can see Corrigan was at a much higher level than all of us (at least me) at such a young age.

 

 

I know this post is supposed to be about one specific song, and that song shouldn’t be done in English or have any lyrics, but I’m doing this anyways. I feel as though it is important and still fulfills the task.

So, without further ado, please enjoy my innermost thoughts and emotions.

Maroon 5 is the greatest band ever. Without them, I would not be the person I am today. Hell, I may not even be here today had it not been for Maroon 5 saving my life so many times. They make every day brighter, as if I am never alone in what can be a very scary and selfish world. They let me know being scared is okay, and that everybody is human, so they have no right to let you believe you are any worse or better than them (it’s a real confidence booster too). They make me feel as though I deserve to be loved, that it is my God-given right to be loved by another person. I deserve love, and you do too. No matter how many mistakes you make, no matter how many times your heart is broken, no matter how many times you try to guard you heart from any other pain, no matter how many times you feel like it is all over, no matter how many times you feel like this is the last time you can ever screw up, they are there for me and let me know that there is hope to keep pushing. The emotions I can be afraid to express in public, this band has released for the world to hear, showing that you should be proud to feel different, not shun it away. It taught me how to respect and treat women, and that they should be my world. If they are happy, I am too. That is the way to real happiness: love for you and you loving another. That should consume your life no matter what, and trust them, everything else will fall into place eventually. However, you can do everything right and have everything wrong happen. Sometimes it is better to break, no matter how hard it may seem at that time. The happiest of times aren’t always the best of times for some, but that time will come for you soon enough. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but it will come. Even the best screw up, and we deserve to be ridiculed and punished for that, and it takes a true man to admit these mistakes, learn from them, and move on without ever forgetting what got you here in the first place. Nobody’s perfect, as cliche as that may sound, it’s true. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t strive for a perfect relationship, as those can be perfect even with the biggest flaws and fights. As long as you are happy, and more importantly, they are happy (which makes you 1,000,000,000 times happier), it is perfect. You can’t be lazy, though. You have to fight for this love everyday as if your life is on the line, which it technically is. That person holds the key to the other half of your heart, so you should fight for it, but that’s just my opinion. Every time they leave, you shouldn’t be alright. You should feel, almost dead inside, as you should feel the need to never let go of that person, even if the sun crashes into you two, the last thing you should want to be doing before death is holding that person’s hand. But, like Maroon 5 constantly explains, these traits don’t just come to you. Nobody’s perfect, and we will have our ups and downs, but life is just a roller coaster anyways. Every up follows a down, and vice versa, but as long as you have that powerful, beautiful person standing next to you, these dips seem smaller each time. Now you, yes you, after all that hard work, adventure with each new date, still feeling more butterflies in your stomach each time, crying into your pillow each night, wondering if you will ever find that special someone, and even telling everyone at a young age that your main goal in life is to find love, can finally put that ring on her finger and cry into your pillow one more night, but this time, a smile as wide as you have ever seen stops those tears from falling down to your chin. Of course, a very beautiful thumb helps as well, especially when it comes from the most beautiful girl in the world, of course, always being there…always.

Getting back to the assignment, listening to Maroon 5 has given me a 360 degree view of the world. I can go anywhere from crying my eyes out because the world seems hopeless, to feeling anxious or nervous because you don’t know what to think of the world, to being happy and excited because you don’t know what to think of the world, to feeling confident and hopeful that love can come to anyone, especially you. I know that this is a very broad scope, but this is one reason why I love Maroon 5 so much. They literally have a song for every emotion known to man. I can possibly relate to it and find my own story in the music, or have no idea about the topic and see the song as a piece of advice to keep in the back of my head for future reference. As far as colors go, Maroon 5 can be a beautiful colorful rainbow that invites vibrancy and happiness to a dark whirlpool filled with depressing and hopeless thoughts that you never seem to escape. It can cause beautiful, bright blue tears that stream from your face as a release of pain and depression, or to exult happiness that after all that pain and suffering, you have achieved your dream. On the other hand, the tears may almost seem like a bloody red and purple, where they can provide a physical representation of your pain and suffering, and just as those tears fall slowly to the bottom of your cheek, so does your self confidence and hope for yourself die out and almost fall out of your body to the point where you become and feel like nothing in the world. The instruments amplify this point, as the piano and drums are sometimes played all alone and isolated, as to represent your isolation of feelings. Other times, one instrument can awaken you and give you hope that you too can rise and rejoin society just as that guitar in “She Will Be Loved” appears to suddenly melt into the other instruments.

I hope this post allows you to realize that one song may not change your viewpoint on something, but that an entire band can change your life, especially for the better. Thank you Maroon 5.