The Metropolitan Opera. Right near Lincoln Center, in the center of the city. A huge building with towering entryways. Floor-to-roof windows.

I enter and there is a sweeping staircase, front and center. It’s covered with red carpet and branches both to the left and to the right. The auditorium is a box, furnished with a extruded “U” of seating and a very tall stage. I am sitting in the family circle, and I realize that I am very high up; if I slip on the stairs, very bad things could happen. But we are still not yet in Siberia—that’s over to the left and right. I see the turntable move. This is going to be interesting.

I’ve heard the Overture to the Marriage of Figaro many times since I was in grade school; when the orchestra began playing, I marveled at the clarity of each of the instruments. I can see why surround sound systems and ultra-high-bitrate recordings are in such high demand—the sound coming from the pit orchestra can’t be replicated with a pair of speakers and an mp3 file.

The opera was confusing; I couldn’t keep one eye on the titles and the other on the stage, so I had to choose between understanding the dialogue and perceiving the movement of the actors. There was definitely a lot of humor in this opera, made clear through the liberally translated text and the shenanigans on stage.

Intermission: long lines at the bathroom for both genders, Lindt truffles (yes!), and sesame crunch (high-energy, “reinforcements” in the words of Prof. Drabik). The culture of opera-goers includes ordering food to be served during this 30-minute intermission. Hmm… what kind of occasions can be celebrated with this kind of extravagance? How would it make sense to spend that kind of money?

Back to the opera. A hiding of identities and a swapping of roles take place with the Countess and Susanna to make fools of their respective husbands (and if I may propose this, to elevate themselves over their spouses by requiring them to beg forgiveness for their infidelity).

And out. I can see myself coming back to experience Richard Wagner and Hector Berlioz.