Author Archives: Jillian Panagakos

Reaction to Just Kids: Patti and Robert’s Relationship

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While reading Just Kids, I was particularly enthralled by Patti and Robert’s friendship. I think, more than anything else, I admire it. Even though they weren’t lovers in the traditional sense, I think that most people spend their lives trying to find a connection with another person like the one Patti and Robert share. The best part of the book, to me, was how raw their friendship was and simply how the two relied on each other so much that they seemed to be two halves of one whole. Without each other, they would not have blossomed into the artists or the people that they had ended up to be. I think that the mutual dependence that they had on each other, paired with their fierce loyalty to each other against all odds, is a pretty beautiful thing.

“The Cut-Outs” Reaction

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Henri Matisse’s exhibit “The Cut-Outs” was mostly impressive to me because of its testament to the human spirit. In the exhibit, there was a short video featured that shows how Matisse designed his cutout pieces. Despite his age, illness, and other limitations, Matisse managed to design extravagant pieces and instruct a partner in physically putting it all together. The exhibit stuck with me because of Matisse’s sheer determination. Not only did he manage to work through any and all of his limitations, but he also progressed as an artist on an extravagant scale. By the late 50s, his pieces were spanning entire walls and, in a few cases, entire rooms. It left me seriously considering the extent to which artists go in order to create. I was always led to believe that there is a certain romanticism in sacrificing for your art. However, there is also a necessary determination that, despite all odds, you will pour yourself into your work. After this exhibit of Matisse’s final projects, I now believe that this determination is what separates mediocre art from true masterpieces.

Tail! Spin! Reaction

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The political satire Tail!Spin! was much more lighthearted than the other shows we saw, although it was just as clever and eye opening. The genius of the performance comes in the script, entirely put together with quotes from disgraced politicians throughout our country. The actors easily manage to make fun of representatives such as Anthony Weiner, Mark Sanford, Larry Craig, and Mark Foley all while using the politician’s own speeches, tweets, text messages, and interviews. I really couldn’t believe what I was watching, as the comedy was so jarring simply because the politicians did not need much help in making themselves look like fools. However, the perfect juxtaposition of their promises to the public and the things that they say, tweet, and text in private left me questioning whether all of our politicians are this disparate between their supposed policies and their actual beliefs. For the most part, I appreciated Tail!Spin! because of its entertainment factor. However, the reason that it works so well is because the politicians portrayed are ultimately making fun of themselves, and that idea makes me pretty scared for our political system.

Disgraced Reaction

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Ayad Akhtar’s Pulitzer Prize winning play Disgraced opens up one of the most significant questions that can be discussed in our current society: to what extent are we truly an open and accepting culture? As the show specifically deals with Islamophobia in New York City, it toys with the ideas of underlying resentment toward Muslims and general xenophobia in one of the world’s most progressive societies. The show particularly stuck with me because of the more radical ideas that it presented, many of which are both anti-American and anti-Muslim. I left that night vastly disgusted with the points of view presented and could not imagine why someone would create a play to spread such viewpoints. However, the show left me thinking. I realize now that such radical ideas were included purposefully; they were not meant to be agreeable, but rather to present to the audience underlying issues in our own society and make us question our own beliefs and ideals. I loved Disgraced for more than just its depth of characters and enthralling storyline, but for the conversation it opened up which our society desperately needs to have.

Banksy Art: Graffiti

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After today’s class I went and looked up some of Banksy’s pieces on Google. I found one that particularly stuck with me:

A photo taken of Banksy street art in London. Found at: http://streetartlondon.co.uk/blog/2011/04/26/banksy-street-art-clipstone-street-fitzrovia/

A photo taken of Banksy street art in London. Found at: http://streetartlondon.co.uk/blog/2011/04/26/banksy-street-art-clipstone-street-fitzrovia/

I feel like this piece is particularly powerful because of its blatant contradictions.

“If graffiti changed anything, it would be illegal.”

Obviously, graffiti is illegal. Thus, Banksy’s point is made clearly through this painting: Graffiti does have the power to change things and that is why people in power don’t want it to exist.

It reminded me of the conversation we had today about what kind of art is allowed in public space, who dictates it, and of course the tearing down of 5Pointz.

I feel like graffiti is so powerful because it is raw. It portrays a viewpoint of a generally voiceless community. Sam commented on one of my last posts something along the lines of this: graffiti is the only outlet that some people have, so we have to let their voices be heard. If we do, it can have the power to change everything.

The Art of Montreal / Graffiti As Art Debate

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By some stroke of luck, I had the opportunity to visit Montreal last weekend. Although I spent a full 24 hours on buses to get there and back, the ride was worth it so that I could experience a new town, new culture, and see two of my best friends that go to school there.

I naturally couldn’t help but notice how radically different everything in the city was from what I know of in New York. One thing in particular was the street art. Everywhere I went, there were murals painted on buildings and pieces of graffiti everywhere. It seemed welcome rather than rejected. Honestly, I loved that these pieces were really all over the place. It added some extra character to the city and was a point that vastly contrasted against the typical New York mindset: graffiti is bad; it isn’t art and needs to be covered up rather than appreciated.

A mural seen on Rue St-Laurent in Montreal.

A mural seen on Rue St-Laurent in Montreal.

This point couldn’t be more clearly seen than in the tearing down of 5Pointz, an abandoned building in Long Island City (you can see it by Court Square on the 7 train!) that was often referred to as “the graffiti Mecca”. Graffiti artists from all over the world would come and tag the building, adding on their own piece to the murals. Recently, though, the building was painted over and torn down by the city so that co-ops could be built in the space.

Personally, I was always against the tearing down of 5Pointz and that’s why I particularly appreciated the street art in Montreal. Do you guys think that graffiti and unofficial street art should be considered art like everything else? Also, do you think that the building should have been torn down?

 

A view of the partially torn down 5Pointz "graffiti Mecca" from the 7 train.

A view of the partially torn down 5Pointz “graffiti Mecca” from the 7 train.

Six Characters in Search of An Author

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The biggest question that everyone has been asking after this play is “What is real versus what is fiction?” Honestly, I’m not quite sure how to answer that. If I were to guess the intentions of the author, I would say that the events that transpired were real in the context of the play. The boy did shoot himself. The girl did drown. No one was really ever the same since. The characters may have known their stories, but I believe that they became a reality once the stories were actually told.

However, I really think that we are asking ourselves the wrong question. Instead of wondering what is reality and what is fiction, I strongly believe that we should be asking ourselves to define the difference between the two. What makes something real versus made up?

The way that I see it is that characters on a stage are brought to life. They are living and breathing with complex thoughts and hopes and dreams and a story, just like anyone else in the world. The only real difference between them and us is that they can only be brought to life through an actor while we don’t need any of those crutches to live out our own stories.

The question that I would most like to pose is just because something is a work of fiction, why can’t it also be real?

The Orchestra

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I’ve never necessarily been one for classical music as I’ve always felt that it didn’t speak to me in the same way as the styles of music that I tend to listen to. However, I did my best to enter tonight’s performance with an open mind. In doing so, I wound up paying a lot closer attention to detail than I would of if I just sat back and enjoyed the music.

The first thing I noticed was that we got really, really great seats. I know, in the traditional sense, they probably weren’t the best in the hall. To me, though, an orchestra is best viewed from as high up as possible. One of the best parts for me was watching how in sync all of the musicians were with each other. It was amazing to see how they each made the same movements at the same times to come together so seamlessly. Much like almost all of the other performances we’ve been to this semester, I was consistently astounded by the way that humans can work and fit together so easily, and incorporating instruments as they do so.

I was also exceptionally interested in the conductor. I know, theoretically, that a conductor’s job is to keep the tempo of the orchestra and to guide the musicians into the next piece of the song. I’ve never been able to wrap my mind around exactly that works. He spoke one language with his body movements while the musicians spoke an entirely different one with their instruments. Somehow it all came together.

Finally, I think after tonight’s performance I’ve come to understand and appreciate the beauty of classical music – especially as performed by such a large group of people. While I’ve always been used to concerts and performances that are more social in nature (a play where everyone laughs at the same scenes, or a concert where the entire crowd knows the lyrics), this performance was much more individualized. Everyone has a completely unique experience from those around him or her. However, the music is ultimately the largest presence in the room. When it all comes together, as human beings collaborate to produce something on such a large scale, music has the ability to overpower you.

The Metronome – Jillian Panagakos, Manjekar Budhai, Samantha Dauer

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In 1999, artists Kristin Jones and Andrew Ginzel had installed The Metronome in Union Square. The art installation is comprised of 3 pieces, the first being a centerpiece comprised of rippling, concentric circles adorned by a gold, halo-like embellishment around an opening in the wall and a slab of rock. The second is an LED display with 15 digits. The first 7 digits represent the amount of time that has passed since midnight, in hours (2 digits), minutes (2 digits), seconds (2 digits) and tenths of a second (1 digit). The final 7 digits follow a similar format, except they are in reverse order and represent the amount of time left in the day. The 3 digits in the middle, measuring tenths of a second, are meant to be mind-bogglingly fast and represent the fleetingness of time, along with the fast-pace of New York City. The final piece of the installment is a half-sphere that is part gold and part black and that mimics the phases of the moon.

The LED clock from The Metronome installation.

The LED clock from The Metronome installation.

The entire installment deals with conceptions of time and utilizes symbolism to do so. The slab of rock, for example, is meant to represent geological passing of time. The opening in the wall emits smoke and sound at midnight and noon each day, to mark significant times. The sphere, of course, represents the lunar phases and passing of time on that level. The most intricate piece, however, must be the LED clock, which has matching halves that increase or decrease accordingly. They perfectly fit together, measuring the amount of time since the last midnight and the amount of time until the next midnight, functioning almost as a “modern-day hourglass” as described by Atlas Obscura. The installment as a whole is one of the most confusing public pieces in the city.

 

The centerpiece of The Metronome in Union Square.

The centerpiece of The Metronome in Union Square.

Ultimately, our group chose to research The Metronome because its complex symbolism and links to mankind’s conception of and obsession with time. Humanity, as a whole, has a tendency to constantly need to understand time: how much of it has passed, how much we have left, and (especially for New Yorkers) how little we have to spare. The clock captures this idea perfectly, as the viewer is initially drawn to the 3 center digits, changing exceptionally fast, that connect how much time has passed with how much time is left. Literally and symbolically, you are stuck between past and future, quickly changing from each moment that is considered to be the “present”.

An American Journey: In Robert Frank’s Footsteps

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For the most part, I enjoyed the documentary about Robert Frank and his composition of the book that shaped the future of photography, The Americans. I think that the director made some interesting choices in the actual composition of the film. As many people had said on the night of the viewing, the actual shots were kind of blurry and sometimes a little jarring or dizzying. I agree, some of the shots gave me a headache, but I don’t think that they were put in carelessly or unintentionally. I felt like they were used in order to mimic (or maybe commemorate?) the photography of Robert Frank. After all, the photos that he used in The Americans were certainly jarring and not necessarily pretty to look at all of the time. More importantly, they were raw. Although they weren’t clean-cut, they exposed pieces of American culture that definitely needed to be seen. Similarly, I believe that the film was intentionally shot this way to emulate Frank’s style.

I’m especially interested in The Americans itself and our discussion about how that one, three-letter word could make as much difference as it did. Judging by the critical view point that Frank took in his exposition, I’m not surprised that people took as much offense by the title as they did. When he called it The Americans rather than Some Americans or just Americans in general, he classified an entire nation under his own viewpoint. I think that’s a dangerous thing to do in any situation. On the other hand, perhaps the title was so jarring that it really forced people to take a second look at the photos, understand what they are really about, and internalize their messages. I think that’s the most that any artist can really hope for when they put a piece out in to the world.

My Fall For Dance Performance

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It seems like everyone enjoyed the Fall For Dance performance that you attended last Friday! I wish that I had gotten to attend with you all also, but I really enjoyed the one that I went to on my own.

My favorite of the performances was “Umnikelo” by the Vuyani Dance Theatre. I was really captivated by their use of what seemed like traditional African music and dance. To me, it was all really beautiful. Here’s a video:

There were a few things that I was really able to notice from sitting in the last row of City Center to watch the performance. The first was that getting a birds-eye view of the show enhanced my experience. I’m sure that seats closer to the stage and down lower are considered to be better for a reason, but I was excited to be able to see everything. I also really enjoyed during some of the performances not being able to tell whether the dancers were male or female. It was a good reminder about how this kind of art only is produced by humanity with no necessary divides between gender, race, or social class.

Something else that I noticed and appreciated was also touched upon by Chloe in her post: the set designers for each performance played with light as a major tool to set the scene for the audience. I never really noticed how important this was until I saw how the same people and place could be dramatically transformed because the color or location of the light changed.

My favorite part of all the performances was honestly seeing how seamlessly all of the dancers cooperated with each other. I have always admired dancers because I’m not a good dancer, myself. I admire their dedication, self-discipline, and passion. However, to me the best part isn’t an individual dancer, it’s seeing how beautifully everything ties together when all of the individuals mesh into one whole.

 

L Train 8th Avenue Station Statues

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If you guys ever take the L train, there are these adorable statues all over the 8th Avenue stop. There are a whole lot of variations on them and I took a picture of one because I thought some of you might enjoy it! This one looks like he’s working with a partner to saw down the pole. Other’s were wheelbarrowing supplies or trying to patch in pieces of the station. I thought they were really cute and I hope you guys like them! 20141008_193256

 

A Shot of the NYC Skyline . . . Sort of

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I took this photo while I was in the car on the Grand Central Parkway. The view really struck me because I had initially been looking for a view of the Manhattan skyline. I love the skyline and think that it’s one of the most beautiful things about New York. It usually reminds me of all the amazing people, places, and opportunities that are encompassed by New York City. However, as you can see from the photo, the skyline is minuscule as compared to the expanse of sky, and Manhattan seems to be a good distance away from where I was, just in Queens. I like this photo because it serves me as a reminder that there is more to “the city” than just the borough of Manhattan. We’re all part of it and interconnected, even when it seems that all the glamour and excitement of New York City is worlds away.

Sunsets

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I hope that you all enjoyed your Fall For Dance performance last week! I’m sorry that I didn’t get to go with you all, but I’m looking forward to hearing about what you guys thought about your night.

Meanwhile, I spent the weekend on a lake in Pennsylvania for my cousin’s wedding. I took a picture of the sunset the last night I was there because it reminded me of the conversation that we were having last class about these wonders of nature and how we can possibly describe them to other people. I’m not sure if I would be able to accurately describe what this sight was like, but hopefully the photo speaks for itself.

Le Nozze di Figaro Reaction

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To be completely honest, I enjoyed our evening at the opera much more than I had initially expected to. I had definitely been excited for the chance of a new experience, but I wasn’t necessarily sure whether or not this one was really going to be for me. I have never really been one for classical music, and I didn’t realize how entertaining the actual storyline would be. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I ended up enjoying myself by the end of the night.

As the show went on, I kept thinking about what Professor Drabik said in regard to taking a chance to admire what these people are able to do just with their voices. I think there is something to be said here for the determination and passion instilled in humanity, for there are people out there who have conditioned their voices to be able to be heard from “almost-Siberia”, all the way in the back of the theater, without a microphone. Sometimes during the show I had to consciously remember “Wow, they are doing this without any technological help. This is just them, singing to us”. Every time I remembered that, I thoroughly appreciated the music much more.  I had a similar thought every time I realized that the music wasn’t prerecorded, that there were real people playing real instruments right in front of my own eyes. After the performance, I had a much deeper appreciation for this kind of live music.

The reason that I say that there are indicative of humanity’s passion and determination is that we are not necessarily born knowing how to do these amazing things. It’s something that we have to train ourselves to do, and put in lots of practice before we can consider ourselves good at it. The fact that these people have conditioned themselves to create this music is astounding to me, particularly as someone who has never been musically inclined, and I am incredibly impressed by how beautifully it was all presented.

Man on Wire Reaction

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While reading Let the Great World Spin, I didn’t know that the story of the man walking between the Twin Towers was true, nor did I find it easy to believe once I was told that it was. I’m sure that this is an understandable reaction, as Philippe Petit’s feat was seemingly impossible, even to himself at times. I really admire the determination that Petit had, as if there was nothing in the world that could have stood between him and his dream. Honestly, I believe that if everyone lived like that, the world would be a much better place. I like what Sharouk said, that Petit really lived. He didn’t just go through the motions of daily life, he truly took every day as a dare to accomplish whatever it is that he wants.

However, as Sharouk and Chloe both mentioned, there was great sacrifice that had to be made in order for this dream to be realized. Yes, he did lose many relationships with other people that he supposedly cared about, but I think that the real sacrifice that he made was much more deep-seated. Petit was so absorbed in his art, that it didn’t seem as if he truly cared at all about any of the people around him were hurt by his actions. It was unfortunate that he lost many of these relationships, but it was even more unfortunate to me that the viewers likely care more about the end of these relationships than he did.

This complete self-indulgence and complete focus that defined Petit’s work makes me question if that’s where “true” art comes from. Do professional artists, the ones that truly earn fame for their work, all have this common theme of seclusion from actual, real-life, healthy relationships with other people? If yes, this is the biggest sacrifice that artists have to make for their work to be realized, and it’s a price that I don’t think I would ever be able to pay.

“The Worst Day of My Life is Now New York’s Hottest Tourist Attraction”

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If anybody is interested in checking it out, this is the article to which I was referring during our last class. The idea of public vs. private grieving and remembrance really stuck with me. I hope you enjoy it!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/stevekandell/the-worst-day-of-my-life-is-now-new-yorks-hottest-tourist-at#1o5futg

About Me – Jillian Panagakos

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Hi everyone! My name is Jillian, but most people call me Jill. I have lived in New York for my entire life, born and raised in Queens, and I just graduated from Townsend Harris High School. I may not have grown up in “the city”, but since my mom works in Downtown Manhattan, I fell in love with this borough before I did with my own. As a kid, I would often take the subway with my mom to the law firm she manages on Wall Street and admire the tall buildings and well-dressed people. I made it a personal goal of mine to spend as much time exploring the rest of this place as I could, until I really knew every single nook and cranny of it.

Fast forward over ten years and I am finally getting to live out that dream as a regular commuter into Manhattan to study Computer Engineering at City College. I love the idea of technology development and my dream job is to eventually start my own business with the software that I hope to create. I’m studying Computer Engineering here as a way to achieve that.

People who are familiar with either my last name (Panagakos) or my thick, dark, curly hair usually realize pretty quickly that I’m Greek. However, what most people don’t realize is that I’m only half! The other half is Irish, Scottish, Polish, German, and a bit of French Canadian. To make things easy for everyone, though, I usually say that I’m Greekrish, an even mix of Greek and Irish. In fact, when I was younger, I used to tell everyone that I was half Greek and half McCann, hoping that they would understand exactly what I meant when I described myself by my mother’s maiden name. They usually didn’t.

These particular ethnicities may clue you in on my gigantic family. I have a younger brother, and seven first cousins. Of course, though, in a Greekrish family, you are just as close with your second cousins and third cousins once removed as you are with your own siblings. Family is incredibly important to me. I try to find family everywhere I go, from my own blood relatives, to my neighbors, to the people I train with in Tae Kwon Do.

Me with just a fraction of all my cousins.

Me with just a fraction of all my cousins.

If you want to get to know me, the first thing you need to know is that I have been training in the martial arts for almost ten years. I have earned my second degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do (hopefully to earn my third degree this coming June!) and my red belt in nunchaku do. On the weekends I’m an instructor and I am passionate about working with the students in the school to learn the art, and watching many of them grow up. One of my students, who I first started teaching almost 6 years ago, recently earned his black belt and joined me in the ranks of instructors. I was just as proud of him when he was promoted as I was of myself when I earned my own.

I hope that you enjoyed a glimpse into who I am, and I can’t wait to meet all of you! I love to make new friends, so I’ll probably be talking your ear off about some of the music, TV shows, or restaurants that I obsess over in no time 🙂

A photo of myself being presented with my black belt by my instructor and my family from 2009.

A photo of myself being presented with my black belt by my instructor and my family from 2009.